JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #743.486.103!

The Mooney Suzuki – The Maximum Black EP (V2) :: This reissue of 1999’s The Black EP by one of rock’s most engagingly raucous primitive agit-pop garage bands is freshly adorned with five primo bonus outtake nuggets. Now if only they’d record a new one.

Scott Solter – Canonic (Hometapes) :: SWM into “machines, grease, razor, tape” seeks atonal audience for disjointed distortion disc. Serious replies only.

That Handsome Devil – That Handsome Devil (Stardust) :: This sleazy funkified jazzbo lounge album sounds as if Jeremy “Swimmin’ in Wimmin” Page struck a crossroads deal with Mojo Nixon—and then reneged.

Mae Shi – Rapider Than Horsepower (SAF) :: What if Kurt Cobain’s brain had been recorded at that exact moment?

Patrick Porter – Die Wandaland LP (Grey Day) :: The joyous and buoyant “Bond Funeral Home” is a very good start, but the rest of this smart airy acoustic early Bowiesque pop album is just begging for a Mick Ronson to come along and plug some much needed electricity into the proceedings.

Yanni – Yanni Live! The Concert Event! (Image) :: Perfect for making the dishes or washing the bed, this glossy live in Las Vegas cross between Jean Michel Jarre and Mike Oldfield will appeal to the closet new age syntho symphomaniac art-rock addict in you.

Totimoshi – Ladrón (Crucial Blast) :: Led Jappelin (sic) heaviness produced by woman-hater Page Hamilton (very sic)—but try not to hold that against them.

The Mooney Suzuki – Have Mercy (V2) :: I love it when a band takes my advice. You’ll love it that they did.

Kasabian – Empire (RCA) :: 48 crash on Highway 61.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Sloan – Never Hear The End Of It (Murder) :: Thirty songs, all blended into one big mind-bending Beatlesque block of nonstop pop that’s almost as good as the originals—and “almost” is about as good as you’re gonna get these days, bub.

The Beatles – Love (Capitol) :: Like I said.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #742.485.101!

The 101 – Numbers (Limekiln) :: Angsters ape oldster Phil Collins.

The Alrights – High School (City Canyons) :: Well alright! Ah think ah busta vessel in muh eardruhms listenin’ tuh this clevah Beatlesque extravuhganza. Ah hope they don’t leak owt. Yuh don’t want muh eardruhms to leak owt, now, do yuh?

Headley – Headley (Capitol) :: Music to Vaseline your tattooed arms by.

Xasthur – Subliminal Genocide (Hydra Head) :: Xasthurbation.

Teitur – Stay Under The Stars (Equator) :: He could be the new Jon Anderson, only the Yes man never recorded a live-in-Copenhagen string quartet version of “Great Balls of Fire” nor a London studio tribute to Satchmo called—wait for it—“Louie Louie.”

The Strays – Le Futur Noir (TVT) :: Look, if I want a record with a French title I’ll move to France. This is America. Speak English.

David Lee Roth – Sonrisa Salvaje (Warner Bros.) :: Or Spanish.

Los Natas – El Hombre Montana (Small Stone) :: Hola! Jimi Hendrix meets Speedy Gonzales on this forged-in-Argentina slab of Mexmetal. Como?

SIZZLING DEBATE OF THE WEEK: Perry Como – “Dig You Later (A Hubba-Hubba-Hubba)” (RCA) :: “It’s always fair weather when hep cats get together. And every time they meet, here’s the way you’ll hear them greet. A hubba-hubba-hubba, let’s shoot some breeze: Say, whatever happened to the Japanese? I got it from a guy who was in the know: It was mighty smoky over Tokyo! A friend of mine in a B-29 dropped another load for luck. As he flew away, he was heard to say: ‘A hubba-hubba-hubba, yuk-yuk!’ So be on your way and I will dig you later in the U.S.A.!”

Todd Rundgren’s Utopia – “Hiroshima” (Bearsville) :: And now for an opposing viewpoint.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #741.478.88!

Buckaroo Banzai & The Hong Kong Cavaliers – No Matter Where You Go There You Are: Live at Artie’s Artery (Yoyodyne) :: Includes the hit singles “Since I Don’t Have You” and “Rocket 88.” More power to them!

Scissorfight – Jaggernaut (Hydra Head) :: Chuck “Barfly” Bukowski once wrote an alkie article in CREEM about the Stones named “Jaggernaut.” Sadly, this watered-down disc doesn’t live up to the potential of that 100-proof title.

Velvet – The Juggernaut (Double Decker Bus) :: But this one sure does! Soaring harmonies and chiming music make this an intelligent guitar-fueled modern melodic version of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Bolan.

Hour Of The Wolf – Power Of The Wolf (Limekiln) :: Ramones meet Metallica. Ingmar Bergman meets his lawyer.

Arma – A Century’s Remains (Rthmtc) :: If these two guys could sing a fraction as well as they play, they just might be contenders. Next time, either hire a singer with an original personality or stick with the heavy art rock instrumentals.

Tacoma Redd – A Momentary Misfortune (Skylar) :: The local torso-tossin’ cleavage heaver says she loves to peel down to this kind of panty-wetting power pop ’cause her tappin’ toes tell her to go with her flow.

Olivia Elton John – Physical (Rocket) :: And a girl should always listen to her body talk, body talk.

Bill Cosby – Bill Cosby Is A Very Horny Fellow (Warner Bros.) :: RIGHT!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The 88 – Over And Over (EMK/Mootron) :: One of the hardest vibes for modern music practitioners to get right is that classic ’70s Brit glam rock sound, but these crazy 88s have managed to beat the odds by merging the best of Davies’ cobblestone pub soap operas, Hunter’s crash street love stories and Bowie’s lady grinning theatour days in one primo produced package that’s brimming with enough intelligent rock music to knock you for a loop—so stop reading this hackneyed run-on sentence and go buy it now. Oh, and there really aren’t 88 of them, they just call themselves that. I guess they think it sounds cool.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #740.477.87!

The Gersch – The Gersch (Tortuga) :: Pinioned pig on the front. Hung human on the back. Pseudo demento guitar rock betwixt.

The Win – The Win (Georgeira) :: Geddit?

Blacklisted – The Beat Goes On (Deathwish) :: Dumb keep poundin’ jism to the lame.

Jim Noir – Tower Of Love (My Dad) :: Wouldn’t it be nice if Brian Wilson and the Beatles recorded a jaunty pop album together?

Brian Wilson – “The Spirit of Rock ’n’ Roll” (unreleased) :: Wouldn’t it be nicer if Brian Wilson and Bob Dylan actually did record a song together?

Brian Wilson – Sweet Insanity (unreleased) :: Wouldn’t it be nicest if the solo album it appeared on had actually been released?

Antler – Nothing That A Bullet Couldn’t Cure (Small Stone) :: The rock ’n’ roll maniacs at Small Stone are back with another hard rockin’ record that just might be the Best Western-themed album since the James Gang checked in. But the next time you cowpokes pose for a photo, make sure you lose the sunglasses and toque first, eh?

Mugison – Mugimama! Is This Monkey Music? (Ipecac) :: No Lucy, this is cacaloo Ricky Retardo music. It’s also further proof that yesterday’s insane asylums are today’s independent music labels. If Frances Farmer were alive today, she’d be signed to Trans-Orbital Records.

Professor Murder – Professor Murder Rides The Subway (Kanine) :: Do you like cowbells? (Say, what if Eno had produced Malcolm McLaren’s Duck Rock?) Do you like synthesizers? (Say, what if Malcolm McLaren had produced Eno’s Here Come The Warm Jets?) Do you like Devocals? (Say what?)

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Old Crow Medicine Show – Big Iron World (Nettwerk) :: In the best Masked Marauders tradition, “Down Home Girl” effortlessly combines the freewheelin’ drawl of Dylan, the hard day’s harp of Lennon and the moonlight guitar of Krieger. But Dylan never wrote a line like “I swear your perfume baby is made outta turnip greens, every time I kiss you girl it tastes like pork and beans.” Come to think of it, neither did Jim “Dandy” Mangrum. And that’s just the first song.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #739.476.86!

The Philosopher Kings – Castles (Sony BMG) :: This is the album of the year!*

The Brought Low – Right On Time (Small Stone) :: Dual guitar stereo high jinks in the sonic service of some hooch-swillin’ Southern-fried blues rock.

Cult Of Sue Todd – Kelsey Grammer Loves Us (NachoBake) :: Geeky atonally adenoidal spasmodal nerd music that shoulda been called “Cult Of Gerry Todd” in tribute to SCTV’s legendary video pioneer.

The Sharp Ease – Remain Instant (Olfactory) :: As much as I liked their first album, I like this new one a whole lot more ’cause it’s a feminized version of analog Television, only with an additional upgrade of HDTV girl power.

Mothra – Mothra (self-released) :: Ah, so! Preased to be ristening to this furious female screamo that could kick Reptilicus’ scales in a Japanese minute!

Imaad Wasif – Imaad Wasif (Kill Rock Stars) :: The front cover shows him pecking out his lyrics on an old Underwood as if he were the acoustic second coming of Joseph Strummer—or maybe even better.

Porcelain Youth – The Therapy Sessions EP (V2) :: Super chunk heavy thunk from Korny punks who…I can’t even think up a word that rhymes.

Panurge – Walking In The Fog (Last Gang) :: There ain’t nobody who conjures the mischievous art rock spirit of Kevin Ayers better than Panurge, so I’m pleased as punch to report that they’re back with yet another soft machine of clever ethereal pop. Bonus points for taking my advice and getting better album cover art.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Five Horse Johnson – The Mystery Spot (Small Stone) :: I was gonna crack wise about stallion wangs squirtin’ out hot shot spots of unknown origin. Then I listened to this album and realized it was no joke ’cause this Led Steppenwolf studfest is nothing less than filthy blues rock at its absolute sleaziest, well-hung, ball-blastin’ best. Recorded in Ferndale. Overdubbed in Ypsilanti. Mastered in Ann Arbor. But of course.

*If you like emasculated sensitive girly-man music.

Be seeding you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #738.474.84!

Leon Russell – Leon Live (Shelter) :: Most creative album title ever!

Ray Davies & The Shelter People – The Kinks Of Leon (Cola) :: Geddit?

Ambulance Ltd – New English EP (TVT) :: Their last record sucked cockney but this new one shows an impressive maturity that’s derivative of the Rubber Soul fabs.

North And South – The Spirit That Guides Us (Goodfellow) :: They don’t pay me enough to listen to faceless immature twaddle like this.

So They Say – Antidote For Irony (Fearless) :: Really they don’t.

The Fenians – Every Day’s A Hooley (Mizen Head) :: The Irish Rovers bedding Boiled in Lead is how endearing this fifth of Fenians is. Even better, the title track is a sly sequel of sorts to the old Kingston Trio hit “Tom Dooley,” so don’t hang down your head and cry.

The Rolling Stones – Exile On Sesame St. (Children’s Television Workshop) :: OK, now you can hang down your head and cry.

Oxbow – Love That’s Last (Hydra Head) :: Hey kids, do you like violence? Well, I’m kinda Fonda this Oxbow incident, so step right up and hear the bitch battle of the century as Diamanda Galás meets Marianne Faithful in a slaughterhouse slugfest.

Paris Hilton – Douchebag Über Alles (Hansa) :: Heil der neu Nico!

The Salads – The Big Picture (Kindling) :: Pantera power-pounding meets Van Halen guitar dexterity meets Peter Gabriel social scruples meets a smood dasha de island beat, mon.

David Bowie – David Live (RCA) :: Most creative album title ever!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Derek Miller – The Dirty Looks (Curve) :: A veritable studio sound track to his live show, Derek cranks out his distinctive brand of guitar-fueled barn-burnin’ blues rock with all the possessed intensity of a man who’s made midnight deals at every sulphuric crossroads from here to hell and back. That’s why I gotta give the devil his due and say that this hard rockin’ record delivers on all counts. Better loosen that tie, ’cause things are only going to get a lot hotter from here on in.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S ROCK ’N’ ROLL PHOTOGRAPHS

While you’re visiting, don’t forget to view the dozens of essential selections from my vast archive of hundreds of extremely rare and previously unseen rock ’n’ roll photographs from the 1970s and 1980s—all of which were taken by myself from my front row center seat at various venerable venues; vintage historical portraits which include the following rock stars caught in their youthful prime:

David Bowie (1976 Station To Station tour) :: Lou Reed (1974 Sally Can’t Dance tour) :: Iggy Pop (1977 The Idiot tour) :: Bob Dylan (1978 Street Legal tour) :: George Harrison (1974 Dark Horse tour) :: Paul McCartney (1976 Wings Over America tour) :: Pete Townshend (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Johnny Winter (1976 Captured Live! tour) :: Jeff Beck (1975 Blow By Blow tour) :: KISS (1977 Love Gun tour) :: Alice Cooper (1975 Welcome To My Nightmare tour) :: Freddie Mercury (1977 News Of The World tour) :: Amanda Lear (1975 Sweet Revenge tour) :: Rod Stewart (1977 Foot Loose & Fancy Free tour) :: Mick Jagger (1975 It’s Only Rock ’n Roll tour) :: New York Dolls (1975 Tokyo Dolls Live tour) :: Keith Richards (1975 It’s Only Rock ’n Roll tour) :: Ian Hunter (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Elton John (1974 Caribou tour) :: Mick Ronson (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Steven Tyler (1977 Draw The Line tour) :: Sparks (1975 Indiscreet tour) :: James Brown (1986 Gravity tour) :: Miles Davis (1985 You’re Under Arrest tour) :: Roger Daltrey (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Bruce Springsteen & Clarence Clemons (1975 Born To Run tour) :: John Entwistle (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Keith Moon (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: The Who (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: and more!

Ask any dealer and he’ll tell you that the best way to get someone hooked on your product is to give them a free sample, so here’s just a small taste of what’s coming your way when you click on the eleven gallery links to your left:

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #737.473.83!

Everlovely Lightningheart – Everlovely Lightningheart (Hydra Head) :: A single 40-minute track consisting of a tinny piano-cored music box melody that weaves through myriad underwater caverns before cross-fading into a convergent realm of mysterious melodies and concrete sounds in the haunting tradition of Basil Kirchin and Gavin Bryers.

The Cinematics – “Break” (TVT) :: I bet the new Bryan Ferry record isn’t half as hip as this glamatronic go-round.

Tommy Emmanuel – The Mystery (Favored Nations) :: Finally, the virtuoso acoustic guitar equivalent of Rick Wakeman’s The Six Wives Of Henry The Eighth.

Snoop Dogg – Love Don’t Live Here No More (Atria) :: “Street lit” mah azz. But I can’t find it in me to hate a guy who took his name from Hanna-Barbara’s classic cartoon characters Super Snooper and Doggie Daddy.

Pete Townshend – Horse’s Neck (Faber & Faber) :: And as Billy Altman astutely pointed out, Cyrano nicked his guitar smashing act from Hanna-Barbara’s classic cartoon character El Kabong—aka “Queeks Draw” McGraw.

Desi Arnaz – “Babalu” (Desilu) :: Baba Looey, geddit?

Roman Candle – The Wee Hours Review (V2) :: Springstonesish anthemic storytelling rock. Bonus points for having a guitarist named Nick Jaeger. Really.

The Flintstones – The Original TV Soundtracks! (Colpix) :: Didja know that back in the early ’60s, a half century before the luxury of complete season DVD box sets, Columbia released a series of long-playing original soundtrack albums of Hanna-Barbera’s most popular cartoon shows?

Keith Richards – “I Could Have Stood You Up” (Virgin) :: He had a gay old time. Really; listened to the lyrics lately?

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Milky Ways – Milky Ways (Alive) :: Back in punk’s halcyonic heyday, I used to spend every night lurching from one dingy, rat-infested hellhole to another, listening to a buncha snotbox bands who sounded just like these wonderfully wasted kids. So if you like your rock served raw with a side order of primitive cool, you’re gonna love these guys ’n’ dolls to deaf, ’cause these Milky Ways ain’t no Milky Duds—and that’s nothing to Snickers at.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #736.471.81!

Agoraphobic Nosebleed – PCP Torpedo / Anbrx (Hydra Head) :: The most distorted screamo album ever made opens with a foul-mouthed excerpt from a Richard Pryor movie. Then they strike up the band and put the dialogue to a mess age of musick.

1986 – Nihilism Is Nothing To Worry About (Palentine) :: I was worried that the band 1986 would be as musically dull as the year 1986 was. But not to worry because they sound as if Elliott Murphy had replaced Unca Lou after Loaded and then recorded a fifth Velvet Underground studio album.

Slow Motion Reign – Slow Motion Reign (Surgical Strike) :: Kinda like Obscure Alternatives Japan with a hint of early melodic Queen and the languid loopy charm of Hunky Dory Bowie. That said, they have an earnest and ambitious neo-prog sound that’s all their own and well worth a listen. Worth a listen? Why, it’s more fun than freebasing with a polyester shirt on!

Hot One – Hot One (The Music Of Nato) :: The really sexciting songs on this album sound like a pouty punky cross between Nick Gilder’s Sweeney Todd (“Get Your Priest On!”), Michael Hutchence’s INXS (“Sexy Soldier”) and Prince’s NPG (“Fu*k*n’”). Needless to say, the really boring ones don’t.

Person – Entitled (Echelon Productions) :: On “You Ain’t Hot,” this nattily dressed synthesizer trio rips a page outta Morris Day’s little black book and then ups the ante by using enough feelthy lingo to make Prince turn three different shades of lavender. Are you ready for the new sex-soaked Bee Gees?

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Mstrkrft – The Looks (Last Gang) :: And speaking of getting soaked, this anonymous glory hole happening between S’Express, Kraftwerk, Giorgio Moroder, and 808 State is nothing less than a wet dream hook-up for horny hedonists aching to relive the coke-soaked ’80s—and that’s nothing to sniff at.

Tiga – Sexor (Last Gang) :: More très fey syntho electro. Beulah, crack me another amyl.

Jan Hammer – Miami Vice (MCA) :: Give me Librium or give me meth!

Be snorting you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #735.470.80!

J.R. Ewing – Maelstrom (Dim Mak) :: You’re not dreaming in a prison shower, this unreasonable metal screamonstrosity sounds just like Ozzy ’n’ Alice ’n’ Ig, oh my!

The Adored – A New Language (V2) :: Ramonesish perky percolating power pop guaranteed to purify your aural palette.

Knut – Alter (Hydra Head) :: Think their band name is clev — oh, sorry, I already used that one-liner. Well then, suffice it to say that these 14 tracks have enough remixed industrial menace to make Farmer’s Market sound like Pete Seeger on valium.

Flattbush – Seize The Time (Koolarrow) :: I’m told that these hammer and sickle-sporting screamanicacs "bring Filipino political rage hard and raw to the States." Good thing I live in Canada.

Grant-Lee Phillips – nineteeneighties (Zoë) :: This is the on-the-nod acoustic album Eric Clapton would record today if old Spikehand were still strung out on smack and had a craving to carve up 11 antique melodies ranging from "Wave Of Mutilation" to the anal sex classic "Love My Way."

Toni Basil – “Mickey” (Capitol) :: And speaking of anal sex classics, she’s still the only woman to offer to take it up the ass on Top 40 radio.

Led Zeppelin – In Through The Out Door (Swan Song) :: What did you think the title meant?

Prince – “Raspberry Beret” (Paisley Park) :: What did you think “She walked in through the out door” meant?

Led Zeppelin – “Since I’ve Been Loving You” (Atlantic) :: What did you think “I open my front door, hear my back door slam” meant?

The Doors – “Back Door Man” (Elektra) :: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Priddy neat, priddy neat! Priddy good, priddy good! Alright!

Greeley Estates – Far From The Lies (Record Collection) :: Music to take prison showers by. Careful with that soap, Eugene…

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Blood Brothers – Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck (V2) :: Are you ready for a quirky spastic cabaret cross between the Clash and Marilyn Manson? How about Suicide and Diamanda Galás? Either way, the hills are alive with the sound of stuck pig music.

Be squealing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #734.468.78!

Demented Are Go — Hellbilly Storm (Hep Cat) :: Stray Cats meet Alice Cooper. So go.

Anajani — Blue Alert (Columbia) :: After seeing Anajani One-Name and her boy toy slash co-writer slash producer Leonard Cohen performing together last month, a good friend who knows his stuff reported back that she sure can sing. And because his word is good enough for me, I’m saved the trouble of having to slash the shrink wrap and actually listen to this one myself.

Danielle Miraglia — Nothing Romantic (CD Freedom) :: “When I cry out loud you stick a dollar in my mouth,” she laments. “I suck the nipple dry until I realize that there’s no milk coming out.” Now I ask you: was ever an album more aptly titled?

Iggy & The Stooges — Raw Power (Columbia) :: Yes.

Schulz — What Apology (Sudden Death) :: Guenter Schulz splits from the KMFDM bawdy politick and hires Jeff Borden to sing this witty set of wiry muscular guitar-driven pop rock that’s utterly delightful.

nearLY — reminder (Kufala) :: Jerome Dillon splits from the NIN nihilism schism and hires Claudia Same to sing this somber set of suicidal songs that, although beautifully recorded, are utterly malignant. Do not be seduced by the dark side. Choose light.

Exene Cervenka & The Original Sinners — Sev7en (Nitro) :: Doxy Exy stumbles out of bed with a tangy twangy dissipated disc full of sloppy schlockabilly songs that reek of cheap cooch and watered-down hooch. The money’s on the dresser. Now get out.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Playwrights — English Self Storage (Sink & Stove) :: Not since Sparks in their high-octane speed-freak heyday or Yes at their most vexingly complex has such a delightful album been recorded that doesn’t pause to catch its breath. Not a moment of dead space exists as the swirlwind of lyrics merges with the vertiginous music; all in all, a very impressive feat given that even Russell Mael and Jon Anderson had to come up gasping for air once in a while.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #733.467.77!

Stereophonics – Live From Dakota (Vox Populi) :: I never realized how much the lead singer sounds like Marilyn Manson and the band like INXS until I heard this twofer. Which means they sound alright. Wholly unoriginal, but quite alright.

Jesu – Silver (Hydra Head) :: The marathon melodrama of "Purple Rain" fused with the claustrosonic soundscapes of "Closer."

Tagaq – Sinaa (Jericho Beach) :: Sparse challenging repetitive primitive chants by a woman who can use her voice much in the same way that Philip Glass can use a keyboard. Only the sellout Cutty Sark salesman was never aided and abetted by the ice queen Bjorkasaurus.

Thee More Shallows – Monkey vs. Shark (Turn) :: These seven somber songs aren’t bad but the laughably wretched amateur album cover art will deep-six this disc before it ever gets a chance to be heard. Helen Keller with an empty box of crayons could do better. Remember kids: You’re supposed to be independent, not incompetent.

An Albatross – Blessphemy (Of The Peace Beast Feastgiver And The Bear Warp Kumite) (Ace Fu) :: King Crimson meets screamo.

David Bowie – The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars (RCA) :: Well, there goes my word count.

Marc Bolan & T. Rex – Zinc Alloy And The Hidden Riders Of Tomorrow (Or a Creamed Cage In August) (T. Rex Wax Company) :: I give up.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: SSM – SSM (Alive) :: Why do these guys rate a SPOTW? Well, first they have a short album title that doesn’t chew up my valuable word count. Second, they have an equally brief band moniker that stands for Szymanski (cheesy Farfisa) Shettler (snappin’ traps) Morris (guttural guitar)—three rock star names if I ever heard them. Third, they have a "96 beers" sound that consists of swirling, mind-bending psychedelics that are so charmingly primitive they make Grand Funk Railroad sound like Emerson Lake & Palmer. Fourth, "Sick" is the catchiest punk song Todd Rundgren never recorded. Fifth, "2012" is the best sci-fi masterpiece The Doors never recorded.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #732.462.71!

Dozer – Through The Eyes Of Heathens (Small Stone) :: I anticipated a side order of screamo but got a heapin' helpin' of bone-pulverizing thud rock instead. And because I do love my thud rock, that's no bull.

David Bowie – Heathen (Columbia) :: Every time I revisit this album expecting to be sorely disappointed, I always come away pleasantly surprised by its emotional depth and maturity. Which says less about how good an album it is than it does about my inexplicable ongoing utter lack of faith in it.

Brian Byrne – tuesdays, thursdays and if it rains (Kindling) :: I'm not saying that this uplifting album was influenced by Mick Ronson or anything, but it sure sounds like it to me. Not that it matters because I'll take my uplifting music anywhere I can find it.

Roxanne Potvin – The Way It Feels (Alert) :: Lissome lungs and horny horns provide a percolating pulse that's part blues, part R&B soul and all heartfelt passion. WARNING: Playing this album may set off your stroke detector

Dozer – Through The Eyes Of Heathens (Small Stone) :: Bull! Dozer! Bulldozer! I almost had a gag there, son! Joke, that is...

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: David Wall – The Spell I Was Under (Black Hen) :: Ellis Hooks once recorded the best early Rolling Stones album that the Stones never recorded. Now it's David Wall who's tapped an Exile On Main St. vein and come up with a soulful blues album that's well worth hearing if only to dig the latent Leon Russell gospel vibe and background bleatin' country honkin' babes.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #731.461.70!

Noisettes – Three Moods Of The Noisettes (Low Altitude) :: Their rip-roarin' vocals are faster than the Pointer Sisters on speed, and their band is more muscular than a Mr. Olympia posedown.

Blue October – Foiled (Universal) :: What radical new record will make your soul ache with heartfelt passion? Rats, Foiled. What ambitious new album will make you remember why you like literate rock? Darn, Foiled. What dramatic new disc takes the prog rock spirit of Peter Gabriel's Genesis and admirably modernizes it into the future? Curses, Foiled again.

Matt Costa – Songs We Sing (Brushfire) :: This singer-songwriter hooked me by sounding like the second coming of gentle acoustic Donovan ("Astair"), but when he switched to hard rockin' electric Donovan ("Sweet Thursday") he reeled me in. You'll be landed and left breathless when you hear him too.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Big 10-4 – Big 10-4 (Universal) :: "Well, I'm the one they call the walking disaster" is a kind of heartfelt lyric that instantly grabs my attention much in the same way that almost being smearcased on the sidewalk by a falling piano does. The vocals are tough yet passionate, the guitars jangle like sheet metal lightning, and the drums thunder with enough ten pin power to make Henry Hudson proud. And while I'd never be snooty enough to say that I've heard the future of rock 'n' roll, I would advise Bruce Springsteen to roll over and tell the E Street Band the news.

Be seeing you!

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #730.460.68!

Hawthorne Heights – If Only You Were Lonely (Victory) :: If only I were deaf.

Measles Mumps Rubella – Fantastic Success (Doubling Cube) :: What do you get when you cross Pere Ubu with Talking Heads? An infectious new strain on your ears!

Waterdown – All Riot (Victory) :: There’s a message inside that says to stay home and read a book. I tried that, but the buffeting F5 metasonic sound waves coming out of the speakers while I played this primo Van Halen meets screamo album kept shredding the pages so I watched some senior citizen porn instead.

From Fiction – Bloodwork (Last Gang) :: Hi, my name is Steve Albini and I’m your producer. Today’s special is a theatrical singer garnished by a band with a primitive progressive garage sound. Can I get you something to drink first?

The Autumn Offering – Revelations Of The Unsung (Victory) :: Unsung is right ’cause these growling guttural vocals almost get pummeled under the weight of the brutal bludgeoning beats that TAO—geddit?—promulgates. And if you don’t know what that last word means, then this album is definitely for you.

Greatdayforup – Flores De Sangre (Small Stone) :: Heavy double time tunes that’ll remind you of Ted Nugent at his most manically possessed, with a side order of Kyuss and Cult.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Action Action – An Army Of Shapes Between Wars (Victory) :: Smart and stylish, this is Dépêche Duran power pop art rock at its soaring synthesized best. Each and every track will have you fondly reliving glam’s last lush gasp from the glory days of the ’80s. And since I utterly loathed the ’80s you can trust me not to steer you wrong on this one.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #729.459.63!

Bill Charlap & Sandy Stewart – Love Is Here To Stay (Blue Note) :: Sparse solo piano and sultry chanteuse singing that'll transform your dire digs into a smoky nightclub circa 1957. Ashtray and coaster not included.

Circa Survive – Juturna (Equal Vision) :: Swirling spastic spin-dizzy songs that'll haunt your hovel for hours. Gravol and Imitrex not included.

Death From Above 1979 – Romance Bloody Romance: Remixes And B Sides (Last Gang) :: Nothing like releasing a fast-buck career-stalling remix album that exposes how paper-thin your abrasive retardo-distorto-techno NIN shtick really is. Originality and... Aw, fergeddit.

Man Man – Six Demon Bag (Ace Fu) :: Remember that drag musical in Escape From New York? Well, so does this Tom Waits meets Frank Zappa band.

New York Dolls – Too Little Too Late (Roadrunner) :: Just kidding. I hope.

The Perms – Better Days (Hugtight) :: A power-pop band with a horny horn section and leering lead singers who sound like Leon Russell and Randy Newman is a great idea whose time has come today.

Sonic Syndicate – Eden Fire (Nettwerk) :: Now here's something new: rock songs based on the book of Revelations.

The Beatles – "Revolution 9" (Apple) :: Something New, geddit?

The Beatles – "Helter Skelter" (Apple) :: They invented screamo, too.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Beatles – The Beatles (Apple) :: This murky mishmash is a sunken slice of seismic miasma that begins with a Beach Boys parody ("Back In The USSR") and penultimates with the above-noted nine minute John Cage meets William S. Burroughs tape collage before tucking you in at the end with a sincere children's lullaby ("Good Night"). If you really wanna know why it's called The White Album, next time focus on its latent spirituality.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #728.458.61!

James Frey – A Million Little Pieces (Doubleday) :: He who makes a liar out of himself gets rid of the burden of being honest. Indeed. Which means we’ll never get to see an Oprah’s Book Club sticker on the cover of the 45th anniversary edition of Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, eh?

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson – 1937-2005 (R.I.P.) :: Has it been fifteen years already?

Glamour Puss – Bluesman’s Prayer (Northern Blues) :: The opening track is a bald-faced rewrite of “The Weight,” which pretty much explains why these Pussies sound just like The Band.

Journey – Generations (Sanctuary) :: If you use only one glossy prog rock album to test drive your next pair of high-end speakers, make it this one.

Melissa O’Neil – Melissa O’Neil (Sony BMG) :: Wherein the generic winner of Canadian Idol uses her generic voice to record a generic album guaranteed to generate genuine generic apathy.

Rex Goudie – Under The Lights (Sony BMG) :: So does the generic runner-up.

Güajiro – Güajiro (Achala) :: Punk bands are a ripe dime a dozen, but a punk band that sounds like they’re straight outta 1976? Now that’s what I call speaking my language!

Watermelon Slim & The Workers – Watermelon Slim & The Workers (Northern Blues) :: Crust-laden smut-soaked Tijuana Bible Belt blues ejerkulated out by a stain-shootin’ cranky old wank that’ll have you itchin’ for a hot Clorox shower.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson (Margaritaville) :: You can thank Jimmy Buffett for this ace audio adaptation, which features the voices of Harry Dean Stanton, Maury Chaykin, Jim Jarmusch, Dan Castellaneta, Buck Henry, Laraine Newman, Harry Shearer and, yes, even Raoul Duke himself. Indeed.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #727.456.58!

Cab Calloway – Minnie The Moocher And Me (Crowell) :: The Professor of Swingformation could teach all the crude dudes a thing or two about being cool. How cool? Cool enough to play poker with Steve McQueen and Edward G. Robinson in The Cincinnati Kid, that’s how cool.

Days Like These – Inventure (Lobster) :: Introspective angst at its prattling portentous best!

Dramarama – Everybody Dies (33rd Street) :: This Chris Carter-less wandering refried glam reunion sure ain’t the Everyothers. Velvet Genesis, maybe.

Paulson – All At Once (One Day Savior) :: Singing so flat it makes Ellen Foley look like Pandora Peaks.

VooDoo Blue – Smile ’N Nod (DCide) :: Oh boy, almond Oy!

Trespassers William – Having (Nettwerk) :: Languid squid music that evokes Julee Cruise at her most ethereal.

Hella – Concentration Face/Homeboy (5rc) :: I like naked chicks on album covers, but Blind Faith and Electric Ladyland never gave me a primo screamo headache.

Harry Manx – Mantra For Madmen (Dog My Cat) :: The modern master of the mohan veena is back with another round of intelligent Indian blues that’s well worth listening to.

Head Wound City – Head Wound City (Three.One.G) :: Seven shots in 10 minutes? Lee Harvey Oswald got off half that many in six seconds.

The Fully Down – Don’t Get Lost In A Movement (Fearless) :: Introspective angst at its prattling portentous best!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Fireball Ministry – Their Rock Is Not Our Rock (Liquor and Poker) :: Attention shoppers! Step this way for hard-rock mayhem just like your rummy old man used to get juiced and pass out to. Last year they were Black Sabbath. This year they’re KISS. Who will they be next year? Angel? Starz?

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #726.455.57!

Thine Eyes Bleed – In The Wake Of Separation (The End) :: Mine ears bleed.

Wolf Parade – Apologies To Queen Mary (Sub Pop) :: What if Bowie and Ronson had recorded Hunky Dory while stewed to the gills on a case of scotch?

The Dead Science – Frost Giant (Absolutely Kosher) :: Nasty canasta Mexicano melodies merged with woozy wasted wastrel wails.

Detonation – Portals To Uphobia (Osmose Productions) :: Prog metal? I dunno, but it’s amazing how palatable screamo vocals can be when they’re shored up by solid production and a relentless brace of burgeoning bludgeoning beats.

Aaron Lines – Waitin’ On The Wonderful (BMG) :: He may strike a Paddy Smiff meets Zimmer pose on the inner tray photo, but he sure sings like the sincere second coming of classic country.

Epoch Of Unlight – The Continuum Hypothesis (The End) :: Gosh, I miss The Obsessed.

Agents Of The Sun – Monarchs Of A Fallen Society (DCide) :: What at first blush appears to be the usual slapdash hodgepodge of generic angst pop is quickly quelled by the swirling dashes of Kirk Hammett guitar work.

ABSU – Mythological Occult Metal 1991-2001 (Osmose Productions) :: And then this compilation of feelth metal’s greatest grates and rarest wracks comes along to show everyone where it began and who to blame.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Chromelodeon – Heart Of Sawdust (Bloodlink) :: Any band that names itself after an obscure Harry Partch work gets my vote right off the bat—especially when they title their six songs an economically minimal “One” through “Six.” But when all six are prog rock instrumentals á la Nash The Slash, well, when I say I’m in love, you best believe I’m in love, l-u-v.

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JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #725.453.55!

Vailcode – Vailcode (Times Beach) :: This lean and lanky new album by Motor City guitar legend slammin’ Sammy Vail is easily as thoughtful as Elliott Murphy at his “Diamonds By The Yard” best. And that’s definitely saying something.

Marcos Hernandez – C About Me (TVT) :: Y’know, back in 1986 they would’ve used “If You Were Mine” during one of Tubbs’ hot make-out scenes on Miami Vice.

The Pathways – Boat Of Confidence (RIYL) :: They set sail with a loose wandering intro before checking the chart and drifting into a Captain Sensible mode that I quite like.

God Dethroned – The Lair Of The White Worm (Metal Blade) :: I’m not too crazy about the band’s name, but that doesn’t stop me from digging their savage sound which, the guttural glotteral vocals aside, is about as close to classic double-time Metallica as you can find these days.

The Gunshy – Souls (Latest Flame) :: Head gunner Matt Arbogast gets nailed for aping Tom Waits so much, but that misses the whole point because he does it so well. When you do it as long and as well as he does, the purloined style eventually becomes all your own. And on this album, it finally does.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Baleen – Follow Me Blind (Liquilab) :: Now here’s one worth listening to that’s all over the audio map. It starts out being on some kind of soul trip only to swerve into a herky-jerky Angletrax vein, albeit a little more mellow and melodic. And since I know you don’t know who Angletrax are, don’t you be making the same mistake twice.

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