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Saturday, November 28, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #759

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #759.498.127!

 

ATTENTION PUBLICISTS: Due to increased operating expenses, I will no longer be able to continue favorably reviewing your clients’ records for the current sum of $15 per disc. Therefore, effective immediately, you are now required to enclose a $20 bill in each individual jewel case, payable in U.S. funds only. Global multinationals: Please inquire about my special bulk discount.

 

D.O.A.The Singles (Sudden Death) :: Oops, looks like someone didn’t get their rate increase notice! But even a million-buck bribe in gold bullion couldn’t get me to say anything good about an alleged anti-racism song called “Nazi Training Camp.”

 

LeianNo Going Back (Page) :: Boy meets girl. Boy plays all the instruments and produces. Girl writes all the lyrics and sings. Together they crank out enough hellacious guitar rock to make me think that their record company belongs to James Patrick.

 

Frog EyesTears Of The Valedictorian (Scratch) :: A bad drawing of Howard Hughes on the front cover. A bad drawing of David Bowie on the back cover. A bad copy of Pere Ubu betwixt.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Grainne RyanAll The Money (self-released) :: Grainne thanks Neil Young on the back cover for being an inspiration and then transcends him by transforming her multitracked voice into a one-woman Crosby, Stills & Nash. Somebody find this woman a record company, fast.

 

PAYOLA PLATTER OF THE WEEK: BergravenDödsvisioner (Hydra Head) :: These bloodthirsty Swedes specialize in arch Goth theatrics that are torn from Diamanda Galás’ Saint Of The Pit playbook and then duly immolated. Yet, despite the Drano-drinkin’, dog-growlin’ vocals, I really like them a lot. Private note to Bergraven: Thank you for the honor of allowing me to review your new record. I sincerely hope that my words will meet with your approval. Your cashier’s check for 337.47 kronas is in the mail.

 

A. Wilford BrimleyJohn Carpenter’s The Thing (Universal) :: “They’re Norwegians, Mac.”

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, November 28, 2020 | link 

Saturday, November 21, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #758

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #758.497.126!

 

Live In Your WayWaking Giants (Solid State) :: I wonder if the singer could scream louder if he had a pair of jumper cables clamped to his balls. OK, try it now.

 

Michael MooreSicko (Dimension) :: Yeah, like I’m going to let a big fat slob lecture me about health care. Try losing 150 pounds first, tubby.

 

The ExiesA Modern Way Of Living With The Truth (Eleven Seven) :: Are these guys the modern masters of the power ballad? Beats me, I hate power ballads.

 

Witch’s HatMastery Of The Steel (Emergency Umbrella) :: When a record company tells me that a record is “undeniably epic, somewhere between Iron Maiden and Dance Punk,” I immediately put it on. When I hear otherwise, I immediately take it off.

 

Pointed SticksWaiting For The Real Thing (Sudden Death) :: Two dozen thinly recorded 1980s new wave pop tunes from Vancouver that sound awfully dated now. I guess you had to be there.

 

Jen Paches And FriendsPretty Little Stars (self released) :: A besotted babe version of Neil Young’s Tonight’s The Night with a beer chaser instead of a line of smack.

 

Cara LuftThe Light Fantastic (Black Hen) :: Cara is a founding member of the Wailin’ Jennys, so it’s no surprise that her first solo album is a buoyant babe version of Neil Young’s Harvest and— surprise!—Led Zeppelin III.

 

Neil YoungArc (Reprise) :: And you thought that no one would ever record a live version of Metal Machine Music.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: MarillionSomewhere Else (MVD Audio) :: Some say that the classic art rock concept album as defined by the likes of Pink Floyd and early Genesis is dead, but don’t you believe it because lush state of the art sonics and high-end graphic design live on in Marillion’s latest. Inspirational lyric: “He who dies with the most toys is still dead.”

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, November 21, 2020 | link 

Saturday, November 14, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #757

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #757.496.123!

 

Marilyn MansonEat Me, Drink Me (Interscope) :: Marry Me, Dump Me is more like it.

 

Paul McCartneyMemory Almost Full (Hear) :: Not only does he sound like Roger Daltrey on the baroque power ballads, he can still out-yowl Little Richard on the too-few high-note rockers—and my memory is still scarred from his greatest solo screamo shriekfest, the mentally insane and completely indecipherable “Mumbo.”

 

In TheoryThis Is It (Adrenaline) :: In practice, no it ain’t.

 

Richard X. HeymanActual Sighs (Turn-Up) :: Smart savvy pop that evokes Elliott Murphy at his Aquashow apex.

 

Big D & The Kids TableStrictly Rude (Side One Dummy) :: Mirror in the bathroom, I’ll talk free. This hip, hyperactive ska-fueled upgrade of the English Beat’s for you and me.

 

Skull TimeSkull Time (Latest Flame) :: I don’t usually agree with superhype promo blurbs, but “self-effacing classic rock lovers whose music requires the throwing of devil horns” sounds about right to me.

 

BobnoxiousRockaholics: The Fun Drinking Game (Wannabe) :: Just when you think you’ve heard it all, along comes this concept album about binge drinking.

 

Matt MaysMatt Mays (Beachfire) :: Matt’s got his Neil Young sound down cold, but Neil never veered down the Dylan meets Bolan alley that Matt does here on tracks like “Stand Down At Sundown” and “Move Your Mind.”

 

Paul McCartneyThe Russian Album; Unplugged; Run Devil Run (Capitol) :: Nobody out-rocks Mr. Helter Skelter when he screams out rock ’n’ roll—and on these three albums he screams out rock ’n’ roll.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Jayme StoneThe Utmost (self released) :: Remember the banjo fever that swept the nation after Bonnie And Clyde and Deliverance made pop stars out of Flatt & Scruggs and Eric Weisberg? Then relive those glory days of precision pickin’ on this extraordinary new album.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, November 14, 2020 | link 

Saturday, November 7, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #756

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #756.495.122!

 

The Young GodsSuper Ready / Fragmenté (Ipecac) :: A .44 Magnum on the front cover? That’s not cool. A pile of coke on the back cover? That’s not cool. A whole lotta snotty sleazoid electro-distorto rock in between? Now that’s cool.

 

Watermelon Slim & The WorkersThe Wheel Man (Northern Blues) :: If I were a less-than-handsome musician and someone callously drew a repellent cartoon of my facial deformities on the front cover of my new album—insensitively reproduced even larger on the actual disc—I’d sing the blues too.

 

Jim BrysonWhen The Bungalows Roam (Kelp) :: I’m not saying this disc is a dire downer, but when I played it my copies of Berlin and Tonight’s the Night committed vinylcide.

 

Dog DayNight Group (Black Mountain) :: Pure pop for ponderous perky people.

 

The Neins CircaSleeves And Wigs (Cooper Spine) :: Stones meet Sparks? Elvis meets Dylan? Beats the hell outta me but, whatever this musical mishmash is, it sure sounds like they had a whole lotta fun recording it. Wish I could say the same thing after hearing it.

 

Jenn GrantOrchestra For The Moon (Paris 1919) :: Jenn sounds just like a fragile Annette Peacock, which makes her a lot more endearing and a whole lot more warmer. Antarctica stops here.

 

John CaleParis 1919 (Reprise) :: Geddit?

 

Loudon Wainwright IIIStrange Weirdos: Music From And Inspired By The Film ‘Knocked Up’ (Concord) :: Finally, the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack to “The Rusty Warren Story.” Geddit?

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The DollyrotsBecause I’m Awesome (Blackheart) :: Speaking of which, my fave rave living Dollys are back with another album of ball busting, ear bleeding, wazoo wetting, pudenda pounding pure punkette pop music that’s louder than lust and just as gooey. Plus, the title track is the absolute best Rah! Rah! Sis-Boom-Bah! School’s Out-take that Alice Cooper never wrote, but sure should’ve. Uh huh.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, November 7, 2020 | link 

Saturday, October 31, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #755

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #755.494.120!

 

Gordon DavisShaft (Warner Bros.) :: Can you dig it?

 

Geoff Berner with Diona Davies and Wayne AdamsThe Wedding Dance Of The Widow Bride (Jericho Beach) :: It’s not every day you hear an album that begins: “I’m internationally recognized as a really, really lucky guy. Everybody knows that I’m the lucky goddamned Jew.”

 

The Book Of ListsThe Book Of Lists (Scratch) :: I meant to type “shitfaced Brit psychedelia” but I’ll honor my typo as a hidden intention and admit that “stiafes brit psychedcecia” is a much better way to describe this Jarvis Bowie meets Suede Floyd glam pop album.

 

Dustin Cole with The SpecialestTry And Love Me (Scratch) :: Crystal clear vocals on cavortin’ cruise control drift languidly over a barren backwash of minimal and at times deeply distorted in the red instrumentals.

 

Isaac Hayes – “Theme From Shaft” (Stax) :: Right on.

 

Amplified HeatAmplified Heat (Arclight) :: Feelthy mungified Texas rock that’s stronger than dirt and sounds just like Lemmy fronting Blue Cheer. Bonus points for stealing the intro from Rush’s “Any Way I Can” and reinverting it.

 

ALORoses & Clover (Brushfire) :: Track one on this professionally spit-polished platter is derivative enough of the Springsteen Allmans to get my attention and original enough to keep it until I start groovin’ on the tasty Simon & Fabfunkle vibe.

 

The Bay-Kays – “Son Of Shaft” (Stax) :: Hot buttered jive turkeys.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Various ArtistsStax 50th Anniversary Celebration (Stax) :: Stax wax is bax to celebrate its 50th birthday with a snatch-smokin’ bag of hot reefer releases that’re both old and new. This twofer hit from the original box set is not just required listening, it’s a 100 percent cumpulsory pussy-poundin’ screw-e-delic delight. So ditch those effete Motown pansies and drop down for the real honey-humpin’ happening. Oh yassss!

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, October 31, 2020 | link 

Friday, October 30, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS ROCK íNí ROLL PHOTOGRAPHS


JEFFREY MORGAN’S ROCK ’N’ ROLL PHOTOGRAPHS

While you’re visiting, don’t forget to view the dozens of essential selections from my vast archive of
hundreds of extremely rare and previously unseen rock ’n’ roll photographs from the 1970s and 1980s—all of which were taken by myself from my front row center seat at various venerable venues; vintage historical portraits which include the following rock stars caught in their youthful prime:

David Bowie
(1976 Station To Station tour) :: Lou Reed (1974 Sally Can’t Dance tour) :: Iggy Pop (1977 The Idiot tour) :: Bob Dylan (1978 Street Legal tour) :: George Harrison (1974 Dark Horse tour) :: Paul McCartney (1976 Wings Over America tour) :: Pete Townshend (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Johnny Winter (1976 Captured Live! tour) :: Jeff Beck (1975 Blow By Blow tour) :: KISS (1977 Love Gun tour) :: Alice Cooper (1975 Welcome To My Nightmare tour) :: Freddie Mercury (1977 News Of The World tour) :: Amanda Lear (1975 Sweet Revenge tour) :: Rod Stewart (1977 Foot Loose & Fancy Free tour) :: Mick Jagger (1975 It’s Only Rock ’n Roll tour) :: New York Dolls (1975 Tokyo Dolls Live tour) :: Keith Richards (1975 It’s Only Rock ’n Roll tour) :: Ian Hunter (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Elton John (1974 Caribou tour) :: Mick Ronson (1989 YUI Orta tour) :: Steven Tyler (1977 Draw The Line tour) :: Sparks (1975 Indiscreet tour) :: James Brown (1986 Gravity tour) :: Miles Davis (1985 You’re Under Arrest tour) :: Roger Daltrey (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Bruce Springsteen & Clarence Clemons (1975 Born To Run tour) :: John Entwistle (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: Keith Moon (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: The Who (1976 The Who By Numbers tour) :: and more!

Ask any dealer and he’ll tell you that the best way to get someone hooked on your product is to give them a free sample, so here’s just a small taste of what’s coming your way when you click on the eleven gallery links to your left:


JeffreyMorganDavidBowie.jpg
Fri, October 30, 2020 | link 

Saturday, October 24, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #754

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #754.493.117!

 

Elvis Presley – “Hey Jude” (RCA) :: Words can’t even begin to describe the dire depths of this appalling aural indignity. Never has a major recording artist been more embarrassingly out of his league both vocally and aesthetically. When Elvis momentarily stops singing toward the end, rather than try and hit a high note, you want to stand up and cheer. No wonder RCA waited until he was dead before they released it.

 

Jeremy FisherGoodbye Blue Monday (Aquarius) :: Jeremy sounds so much like Paul Simon that you won’t believe your delicate little shell-like ears. Except Simon never sang a line like: “She runs guns, everyone wants guns, there she goes.” But he should have.

 

Paul Simon – “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” (Columbia) :: Blow him away, Kay.

 

The Love Kills TheoryHappy Suicide Jim (Xemu) :: Catchy convulsive pop songs that take their quirky fuzztone cue from Pretties For You. The “Jim” in the album title refers to conniving cult crackpot Jim Jones. The red Kool-Aid pitcher on the album cover that’s smiling and waving and looking so fine refers to an impending lawsuit by Kraft Foods.

 

Buck BrothersMe (Back2Forward) :: Ron Mael writing for the Diodes? That’s how schizoid this album is! Inspirational lyric: “My time has come, I’m gorgeously stupid, I can’t remember my name. I’m gorgeously stupid and I think you’re just the same.”

 

Sparks – “Everybody’s Stupid” (Columbia) :: That’s for sure.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Neil YoungMassey Hall 1971 (Reprise) :: What’s really interesting is how downright gabby the singer is between songs as he previews the yet to be released Harvest. And although I initially chalked such loquaciousness up to shy hometown nervousness, the torrent of piercing glass-shattering high notes he unleashes on “Down By The River” and “Ohio” proved me wrong.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, October 24, 2020 | link 

Saturday, October 17, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #753

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #753.491.113!

 

PeelerEvils Of The Modern Pleasure Dance (Angel Green) :: The boozy bozo “HEY YEAH! SO! COME ON! YEAH!” caterwaul which opens this album makes it pretty obvious that Craig Peeler has his Yo! Jimbo! shtick down pat, especially on heavy stonerdelic songs like “Half Past High.”

 

The DoorsAbsolutely Live (Elektra) :: Lout it, lout it, lout it out loud!

 

The CinematicsBreak EP (TVT) :: And you thought that skinny leather tie of yours from Japan would never come back in vogue.

 

The DarnsWhat It All Turns Into (self released) :: These guys sound like a ’70s new wave version of the Tragically Hip, so you can expect a lot more in the way of unexpected variety.

 

AbernethyCollege Grove (Spinning Gold) :: A voice that’s a creepy cross between John Cale (“Going Home”) and Eno (“Queer Bright”) and mauve music that sounds like side three of This End Up.

 

Explosions In The SkyAll Of A Sudden I Miss Everyone (Temporary Residence) :: I’m a soft touch for instrumental art rock albums, even ones with an surfeit of bombastic Bonzo drumming. Must be all them explosions.

 

Arthur DodgeThe Perfect Face (Remedy) :: It says a lot about Arthur Dodge’s songwriting ability that the only cover version he does on this tasteful country album—“San Diego Serenade” by Tom Waits—is the worst written one of the lot.

 

POLITICALLY NAÏVE PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Jen MilitiaBerlin Boot Camp (Digilog) :: The bad news is that Canada’s answer to Rage Against The Machine uses Maoist imagery from communist China to sell their tawdry wares. The good news is that they don’t wear T-shirts featuring the face of mass murderer Ernesto “Che” Guevara. I guess they don’t want to look like Carlos Santana.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, October 17, 2020 | link 

Saturday, October 10, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #752

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #752.490.111!

 

Leeroy StaggerDepression River (Boompa) :: Stagger Lee serves up another haunting slab of country rock. “The forest is burnin’ from a half-lit cigarette; take what you can, go as far as you can get” is the kind of line Busta “Nursery Rhyme” Dylan wishes he could still write.

 

Ad Astra Per AsperaCatapult Calypso (Sonic Unyon) :: Smart enough to be good musicians but stupid enough to let a mental retard scream their vocals on Track 1, thus ensuring that I never got to Track 2.

 

Blinded ColonyBedtime Prayers (Pivotal) :: Meet the new dross. Same as the old dross.

 

The Blue VanDear Independence (TVT) :: Pseudo-sloppy and portentously pretentious in a rote Romantics wannabe way.

 

New Year’s DayNew Year’s Day (TVT) :: Chirpy perky femme-inflected pouty power pop with a breathy dash of Mercurial punkette posturing.

 

The NeinLuxury (Sonic Unyon) :: Dissipated and disjointed, this ambitious aural collage evokes Beatle John at his most experimentally nonracist wasted.

 

Royal WoodA Good Enough Day (Dead Daisy) :: Piano-driven gospel-fuelled melodies merge with soulful singing and Claptonesque guitar playing. Mucho recomendado.

 

Various ArtistsThe Family Values Tour 2006 (Firm) :: Thrashasaurs Korn and the Deftones defer their extinction with this dynamic album of caustic rock songs. Bonus points for not including Fred Durst.

 

Shaw/BladesInfluence (VH1) :: Mellosaurs Tommy Shaw and Jack Blades extend their distinction with this delightful album of classic rock songs. Bonus points for not including Rod Stewart.

 

Ten Second EpicCount Yourself In (Black Box) :: Until these guys listen to the Diodes and hear how professionals do it, count me out.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Of MontrealHissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer? (Polyvinyl) :: Robin Scott’s M meets Bill Nelson’s Red Noise via Ron and Russell’s Sparks on this Eurofried synth-pop art rock album. Miss it at your own risk.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, October 10, 2020 | link 

Saturday, October 3, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #751

 JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #751.486.103!

The Mooney Suzuki - The Maximum Black EP (V2) :: This reissue of 1999's The Black EP by one of rock's most engagingly raucous primitive agit-pop garage bands is freshly adorned with five primo bonus outtake nuggets. Now if only they'd record a new one.

Scott Solter - Canonic (Hometapes) :: SWM into "machines, grease, razor, tape" seeks atonal audience for disjointed distortion disc. Serious replies only.

That Handsome Devil - That Handsome Devil (Stardust) :: This sleazy funkified jazzbo lounge album sounds as if Jeremy "Swimmin' in Wimmin" Page struck a crossroads deal with Mojo Nixon-and then reneged.

Mae Shi - Rapider Than Horsepower (SAF) :: What if Kurt Cobain's brain had been recorded at that exact moment?

Patrick Porter - Die Wandaland LP (Grey Day) :: The joyous and buoyant "Bond Funeral Home" is a very good start, but the rest of this smart airy acoustic early Bowiesque pop album is just begging for a Mick Ronson to come along and plug some much needed electricity into the proceedings.

Yanni - Yanni Live! The Concert Event! (Image) :: Perfect for making the dishes or washing the bed, this glossy live in Las Vegas cross between Jean Michel Jarre and Mike Oldfield will appeal to the closet new age syntho symphomaniac art-rock addict in you.

Totimoshi - Ladrón (Crucial Blast) :: Led Jappelin (sic) heaviness produced by woman-hater Page Hamilton (very sic)-but try not to hold that against them.

The Mooney Suzuki - Have Mercy (V2) :: I love it when a band takes my advice. You'll love it that they did.

Kasabian - Empire (RCA) :: 48 crash on Highway 61.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Sloan - Never Hear The End Of It (Murder) :: Thirty songs, all blended into one big mind-bending Beatlesque block of nonstop pop that's almost as good as the originals-and "almost" is about as good as you're gonna get these days, bub.

The Beatles - Love (Capitol) :: Like I said.

Be seeing you!

Sat, October 3, 2020 | link 

Saturday, September 26, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #750

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #750.495.122! 

The Young Gods - Super Ready / Fragmenté (Ipecac) :: A .44 Magnum on the front cover? That's not cool. A pile of coke on the back cover? That's not cool. A whole lotta snotty sleazoid electro-distorto rock in between? Now that's cool.

Watermelon Slim & The Workers - The Wheel Man (Northern Blues) :: If I were a less-than-handsome musician and someone callously drew a repellent cartoon of my facial deformities on the front cover of my new album-insensitively reproduced even larger on the actual disc-I'd sing the blues too.

Jim Bryson - When The Bungalows Roam (Kelp) :: I'm not saying this disc is a dire downer, but when I played it my copies of Berlin and Tonight's the Night committed vinylcide.

Dog Day - Night Group (Black Mountain) :: Pure pop for ponderous perky people.

The Neins Circa - Sleeves And Wigs (Cooper Spine) :: Stones meet Sparks? Elvis meets Dylan? Beats the hell outta me but, whatever this musical mishmash is, it sure sounds like they had a whole lotta fun recording it. Wish I could say the same thing after hearing it.

Jenn Grant - Orchestra For The Moon (Paris 1919) :: Jenn sounds just like a fragile Annette Peacock, which makes her a lot more endearing and a whole lot more warmer. Antarctica stops here.

John Cale - Paris 1919 (Reprise) :: Geddit?

Loudon Wainwright III - Strange Weirdos: Music From And Inspired By The Film ‘Knocked Up' (Concord) :: Finally, the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack to "The Rusty Warren Story." Geddit?

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Dollyrots - Because I'm Awesome (Blackheart) :: Speaking of which, my fave rave living Dollys are back with another album of ball busting, ear bleeding, wazoo wetting, pudenda pounding pure punkette pop music that's louder than lust and just as gooey. Plus, the title track is the absolute best Rah! Rah! Sis-Boom-Bah! School's Out-take that Alice Cooper never wrote, but sure should've. Uh huh.

Be seeing you!

Sat, September 26, 2020 | link 

Saturday, September 19, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #749

 

JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #749.494.120!

 

 Gordon Davis - Shaft (Warner Bros.) :: Can you dig it?

 

Geoff Berner with Diona Davies and Wayne Adams - The Wedding Dance Of The Widow Bride (Jericho Beach) :: It's not every day you hear an album that begins: "I'm internationally recognized as a really, really lucky guy. Everybody knows that I'm the lucky Jew."

 

The Book Of Lists - The Book Of Lists (Scratch) :: I meant to type "shitfaced Brit psychedelia" but I'll honor my typo as a hidden intention and admit that "stiafes brit psychedcecia" is a much better way to describe this Jarvis Bowie meets Suede Floyd glam pop album.

 

Dustin Cole with The Specialest - Try And Love Me (Scratch) :: Crystal clear vocals on cavortin' cruise control drift languidly over a barren backwash of minimal and at times deeply distorted in the red instrumentals.

 

Isaac Hayes - "Theme From Shaft" (Stax) :: Right on.

 

Amplified Heat - Amplified Heat (Arclight) :: Feelthy mungified Texas rock that's stronger than dirt and sounds just like Lemmy fronting Blue Cheer. Bonus points for stealing the intro from Rush's "Any Way I Can" and reinverting it.

 

ALO - Roses & Clover (Brushfire) :: Track one on this professionally spit-polished platter is derivative enough of the Springsteen Allmans to get my attention and original enough to keep it until I start groovin' on the tasty Simon & Fabfunkle vibe.

 

The Bay-Kays - "Son Of Shaft" (Stax) :: Hot buttered jive turkeys.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Various Artists - Stax 50th Anniversary Celebration (Stax) :: Stax wax is bax to celebrate its 50th birthday with a snatch-smokin' bag of hot reefer releases that're both old and new. This twofer hit from the original box set is not just required listening, it's a 100 percent cumpulsory pussy-poundin' screw-e-delic delight. So ditch those effete Motown pansies and drop down for the real honey-humpin' happening. Oh yassss!

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, September 19, 2020 | link 

Saturday, September 12, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #748

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #748.493.117!

 

Elvis Presley – “Hey Jude” (RCA) :: Words can’t even begin to describe the dire depths of this appalling aural indignity. Never has a major recording artist been more embarrassingly out of his league both vocally and aesthetically. When Elvis momentarily stops singing toward the end, rather than try and hit a high note, you want to stand up and cheer. No wonder RCA waited until he was dead before they released it.

 

Jeremy FisherGoodbye Blue Monday (Aquarius) :: Jeremy sounds so much like Paul Simon that you won’t believe your delicate little shell-like ears. Except Simon never sang a line like: “She runs guns, everyone wants guns, there she goes.” But he should have.

 

Paul Simon – “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” (Columbia) :: Blow him away, Kay.

 

The Love Kills TheoryHappy Suicide Jim (Xemu) :: Catchy convulsive pop songs that take their quirky fuzztone cue from Pretties For You. The “Jim” in the album title refers to conniving cult crackpot Jim Jones. The red Kool-Aid pitcher on the album cover that’s smiling and waving and looking so fine refers to an impending lawsuit by Kraft Foods.

 

Buck BrothersMe (Back2Forward) :: Ron Mael writing for the Diodes? That’s how schizoid this album is! Inspirational lyric: “My time has come, I’m gorgeously stupid, I can’t remember my name. I’m gorgeously stupid and I think you’re just the same.”

 

Sparks – “Everybody’s Stupid” (Columbia) :: That’s for sure.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Neil YoungMassey Hall 1971 (Reprise) :: What’s really interesting is how downright gabby the singer is between songs as he previews the yet to be released Harvest. And although I initially chalked such loquaciousness up to shy hometown nervousness, the torrent of piercing glass-shattering high notes he unleashes on “Down By The River” and “Ohio” proved me wrong.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, September 12, 2020 | link 

Saturday, September 5, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #747

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #747.491.113!

 

PeelerEvils Of The Modern Pleasure Dance (Angel Green) :: The boozy bozo “HEY YEAH! SO! COME ON! YEAH!” caterwaul which opens this album makes it pretty obvious that Craig Peeler has his Yo! Jimbo! shtick down pat, especially on heavy stonerdelic songs like “Half Past High.”

 

The DoorsAbsolutely Live (Elektra) :: Lout it, lout it, lout it out loud!

 

The CinematicsBreak EP (TVT) :: And you thought that skinny leather tie of yours from Japan would never come back in vogue.

 

The DarnsWhat It All Turns Into (self released) :: These guys sound like a ’70s new wave version of the Tragically Hip, so you can expect a lot more in the way of unexpected variety.

 

AbernethyCollege Grove (Spinning Gold) :: A voice that’s a creepy cross between John Cale (“Going Home”) and Eno (“Queer Bright”) and mauve music that sounds like side three of This End Up.

 

Explosions In The SkyAll Of A Sudden I Miss Everyone (Temporary Residence) :: I’m a soft touch for instrumental art rock albums, even ones with an surfeit of bombastic Bonzo drumming. Must be all them explosions.

 

Arthur DodgeThe Perfect Face (Remedy) :: It says a lot about Arthur Dodge’s songwriting ability that the only cover version he does on this tasteful country album—“San Diego Serenade” by Tom Waits—is the worst written one of the lot.

 

POLITICALLY NAÏVE PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Jen MilitiaBerlin Boot Camp (Digilog) :: The bad news is that Canada’s answer to Rage Against The Machine uses Maoist imagery from communist China to sell their tawdry wares. The good news is that they don’t wear T-shirts featuring the face of mass murderer Ernesto “Che” Guevara. I guess they don’t want to look like Carlos Santana.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, September 5, 2020 | link 

Saturday, August 29, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #746

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #746.490.111!

 

Leeroy StaggerDepression River (Boompa) :: Stagger Lee serves up another haunting slab of country rock. “The forest is burnin’ from a half-lit cigarette; take what you can, go as far as you can get” is the kind of line Busta “Nursery Rhyme” Dylan wishes he could still write.

 

Ad Astra Per AsperaCatapult Calypso (Sonic Unyon) :: Smart enough to be good musicians but stupid enough to let a mental retard scream their vocals on Track 1, thus ensuring that I never got to Track 2.

 

Blinded ColonyBedtime Prayers (Pivotal) :: Meet the new dross. Same as the old dross.

 

The Blue VanDear Independence (TVT) :: Pseudo-sloppy and portentously pretentious in a rote Romantics wannabe way.

 

New Year’s DayNew Year’s Day (TVT) :: Chirpy perky femme-inflected pouty power pop with a breathy dash of Mercurial punkette posturing.

 

The NeinLuxury (Sonic Unyon) :: Dissipated and disjointed, this ambitious aural collage evokes Beatle John at his most experimentally nonracist wasted.

 

Royal WoodA Good Enough Day (Dead Daisy) :: Piano-driven gospel-fuelled melodies merge with soulful singing and Claptonesque guitar playing. Mucho recomendado.

 

Various ArtistsThe Family Values Tour 2006 (Firm) :: Thrashasaurs Korn and the Deftones defer their extinction with this dynamic album of caustic rock songs. Bonus points for not including Fred Durst.

 

Shaw/BladesInfluence (VH1) :: Mellosaurs Tommy Shaw and Jack Blades extend their distinction with this delightful album of classic rock songs. Bonus points for not including Rod Stewart.

 

Ten Second EpicCount Yourself In (Black Box) :: Until these guys listen to the Diodes and hear how professionals do it, count me out.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Of MontrealHissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer? (Polyvinyl) :: Robin Scott’s M meets Bill Nelson’s Red Noise via Ron and Russell’s Sparks on this Eurofried synth-pop art rock album. Miss it at your own risk.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, August 29, 2020 | link 

Saturday, August 22, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #745

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #745.489.109!

 

The StoogesThe Weirdness (Virgin) :: Whaddya mean there’s no “1971”?

 

Al GoreAn Inconvenient Truth (Paramount) :: And you thought science fiction films never won Oscars.

 

Tara SloneJust Look Pretty And Sing (Orange) :: Her excruciating cover of “Suffragette City” makes Dana Gillespie sound like Diamanda Galás. Wham, bam, shut up, ma’am.

 

Iggy & The Stooges – “Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell” (Columbia) :: File under: Tara Slone.

 

Paul MichaelQuiet State Of Panic (Stunning Models On Display) :: The cello is the saddest instrument in the world, just ask Johann Sebastian Bach. The electric guitar is the most powerful instrument in the world, just ask James Patrick Page. This album is the saddest most powerful album in the world, just ask me.

 

Lou ReedBerlin (RCA) :: Then again, what do I know?

 

Clemente…whilst honey hums (Moodswing) :: These straight shooters provide quality narrative songwriting that’s trustworthy and sincere in way that those two peacenik bagmen Dylan and Springsteen never were.

 

Ill ScarlettEPidemic (self released) Steinski stadium scratch rock.

 

Savoy BrownSteel (Panache) :: I reckon there ain’t nuthin’ wrong with this here record that a varispeed unit and new lyricist couldn’t fix.

 

The TwistersAfter The Storm (Northern Blues) :: Most blues lyrics by their very nature are inherently stupid, but these words are so retarded they make Savoy Brown’s lyrics look as if they were written by Carl Sandburg.

 

ChicagoCity Of Big Shoulders (Columbia) :: I wish.

 

The VelmasStation (City Canyon) :: The pure pop melodies of The Beatles. The putrid power maladies of Nine Inch Nails. The beast of both worlds.

 

ZozobraHarmonic Tremors (Hydra Head) :: You say harmonic. I say moronic. They jacked the whole thing off.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Casket SalesmenSleeping Giants (Longhair Illuminati) :: Digland’s newest crypt makers have crafted an intelligent art rock album that’s overly ambitious and altogether extraordinary in an electro-ambient-Split Enz-meets-Tangerine Dream-slash-high-spirited-Jon Anderson-meets-Don and Philharmonic-Everly-slash-early-irate-Alice-Cooper-Group-meets-no one kinda way.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, August 22, 2020 | link 

Saturday, August 15, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #744

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #744.488.107!

 

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson1937-2005 (R.I.P.) :: Has it been fifteen years already?

 

Yoko OnoYes, I’m A Witch (Astralwerks) :: Got a match?

 

Queens Of The Stone Age – “Burn The Witch” (Interscope) :: Got a match?

 

Swan LakeBeast Moans (Scratch) :: .esrever ni built being church a watching like is album Donovan meet Velvets disjointed tremulously this to Listening

 

Frank Gallup – “Got A Match?” (Spartan) :: I beg your pardon.

 

The Midway StateThe Midway State (Remedy) :: The thunderous bathroom beat of Led Zeppelin meets the slanderous bathroom beat off George Michael.

 

Gary NumanDance (Beggars Banquet) :: He’s always been infinitely better than you ever gave him credit for and this ironically titled album is just one shining example why there would be no Nine Inch Nails without Gary Numan.

 

Nine Inch Numan – “Here In My Hole” (Nothing Numa) :: This mishmash of “Head Like a Hole” and “Cars” exists only in my imagination, but listen to them both and then tell me it doesn’t work.

 

Jim ByrnesHouse Of Refuge (Black Hen) :: Spiritual blues to salve your soul. Bonus points for having the chutzpah to include a ukulele rendition of Hoagy Carmichael’s “Stardust” and think it might fit in. Points deducted because it doesn’t.

 

The SlitsRevenge Of The Killer Slits (SAF) :: Track 2 of this reunion EP is punk rock just like Mother used to hate. Tracks 1 and 3 aren’t.

 

The SlatsBoom Patrol (Latest Flame) :: File under: Beastie surf? Ramones rap? Devo rock? All of the above.

 

The Sluts – “Me Ruv You Rong Time” (KFC) :: The first single from Kim Fowley’s new juvenile jail-bait girl group is a cool coolie rice-paddy pastiche about working girls one night in Bangkok. Just kidding.

 

SIZZLING SOFT COVER OF THE WEEK: Pamela Des BarresI’m With The Band: Confessions of a Groupie (Chicago Review Press) :: She’s my little douche coupe, you don’t know what I caught.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, August 15, 2020 | link 

Saturday, August 8, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #743

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #743.486.103!

 

The Mooney SuzukiThe Maximum Black EP (V2) :: This reissue of 1999’s The Black EP by one of rock’s most engagingly raucous primitive agit-pop garage bands is freshly adorned with five primo bonus outtake nuggets. Now if only they’d record a new one.

 

Scott SolterCanonic (Hometapes) :: SWM into “machines, grease, razor, tape” seeks atonal audience for disjointed distortion disc. Serious replies only.

 

That Handsome DevilThat Handsome Devil (Stardust) :: This sleazy funkified jazzbo lounge album sounds as if Jeremy “Swimmin’ in Wimmin” Page struck a crossroads deal with Mojo Nixon—and then reneged.

 

Mae ShiRapider Than Horsepower (SAF) :: What if Kurt Cobain’s brain had been recorded at that exact moment?

 

Patrick PorterDie Wandaland LP (Grey Day) :: The joyous and buoyant “Bond Funeral Home” is a very good start, but the rest of this smart airy acoustic early Bowiesque pop album is just begging for a Mick Ronson to come along and plug some much needed electricity into the proceedings.

 

YanniYanni Live! The Concert Event! (Image) :: Perfect for making the dishes or washing the bed, this glossy live in Las Vegas cross between Jean Michel Jarre and Mike Oldfield will appeal to the closet new age syntho symphomaniac art-rock addict in you.

 

TotimoshiLadrón (Crucial Blast) :: Led Jappelin (sic) heaviness produced by woman-hater Page Hamilton (very sic)—but try not to hold that against them.

 

The Mooney SuzukiHave Mercy (V2) :: I love it when a band takes my advice. You’ll love it that they did.

 

Kasabian Empire (RCA) :: 48 crash on Highway 61.

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: SloanNever Hear The End Of It (Murder) :: Thirty songs, all blended into one big mind-bending Beatlesque block of nonstop pop that’s almost as good as the originals—and “almost” is about as good as you’re gonna get these days, bub.

 

The BeatlesLove (Capitol) :: Like I said.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, August 8, 2020 | link 

Saturday, August 1, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #742

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #742.485.101!

 

The 101Numbers (Limekiln) :: Angsters ape oldster Phil Collins.

 

The AlrightsHigh School (City Canyons) :: Well alright! Ah think ah busta vessel in muh eardruhms listenin’ tuh this clevah Beatlesque extravuhganza. Ah hope they don’t leak owt. Yuh don’t want muh eardruhms to leak owt, now, do yuh?

 

HeadleyHeadley (Capitol) :: Music to Vaseline your tattooed arms by.

 

XasthurSubliminal Genocide (Hydra Head) :: Xasthurbation.

 

TeiturStay Under The Stars (Equator) :: He could be the new Jon Anderson, only the Yes man never recorded a live-in-Copenhagen string quartet version of “Great Balls of Fire” nor a London studio tribute to Satchmo called—wait for it—“Louie Louie.”

 

The StraysLe Futur Noir (TVT) :: Look, if I want a record with a French title I’ll move to France. This is America. Speak English.

 

David Lee RothSonrisa Salvaje (Warner Bros.) :: Or Spanish.

 

Los NatasEl Hombre Montana (Small Stone) :: Hola! Jimi Hendrix meets Speedy Gonzales on this forged-in-Argentina slab of Mexmetal. Como?

 

SIZZLING DEBATE OF THE WEEK: Perry Como – “Dig You Later (A Hubba-Hubba-Hubba)” (RCA) :: “It’s always fair weather when hep cats get together. And every time they meet, here’s the way you’ll hear them greet. A hubba-hubba-hubba, let’s shoot some breeze: Say, whatever happened to the Japanese? I got it from a guy who was in the know: It was mighty smoky over Tokyo! A friend of mine in a B-29 dropped another load for luck. As he flew away, he was heard to say: ‘A hubba-hubba-hubba, yuk-yuk!’ So be on your way and I will dig you later in the U.S.A.!”

 

Todd Rundgren’s Utopia – “Hiroshima” (Bearsville) :: And now for an opposing viewpoint.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, August 1, 2020 | link 

Saturday, July 25, 2020

JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #741

 

JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #741.478.88!

 

Buckaroo Banzai & The Hong Kong CavaliersNo Matter Where You Go There You Are: Live at Artie’s Artery (Yoyodyne) :: Includes the hit singles “Since I Don’t Have You” and “Rocket 88.” More power to them!

 

ScissorfightJaggernaut (Hydra Head) :: Chuck “Barfly” Bukowski once wrote an alkie article in CREEM about the Stones named “Jaggernaut.” Sadly, this watered-down disc doesn’t live up to the potential of that 100-proof title.

 

VelvetThe Juggernaut (Double Decker Bus) :: But this one sure does! Soaring harmonies and chiming music make this an intelligent guitar-fueled modern melodic version of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Bolan.

 

Hour Of The WolfPower Of The Wolf (Limekiln) :: Ramones meet Metallica. Ingmar Bergman meets his lawyer.

 

ArmaA Century’s Remains (Rthmtc) :: If these two guys could sing a fraction as well as they play, they just might be contenders. Next time, either hire a singer with an original personality or stick with the heavy art rock instrumentals.

 

Tacoma ReddA Momentary Misfortune (Skylar) :: The local torso-tossin’ cleavage heaver says she loves to peel down to this kind of panty-wetting power pop ’cause her tappin’ toes tell her to go with her flow.

 

Olivia Elton JohnPhysical (Rocket) :: And a girl should always listen to her body talk, body talk.

 

Bill CosbyBill Cosby Is A Very Horny Fellow (Warner Bros.) :: RIGHT!

 

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The 88Over And Over (EMK/Mootron) :: One of the hardest vibes for modern music practitioners to get right is that classic ’70s Brit glam rock sound, but these crazy 88s have managed to beat the odds by merging the best of Davies’ cobblestone pub soap operas, Hunter’s crash street love stories and Bowie’s lady grinning theatour days in one primo produced package that’s brimming with enough intelligent rock music to knock you for a loop—so stop reading this hackneyed run-on sentence and go buy it now. Oh, and there really aren’t 88 of them, they just call themselves that. I guess they think it sounds cool.

 

Be seeing you!

Sat, July 25, 2020 | link 

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