Saturday, November 28, 2015
JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #498
Sat, November 28, 2015 | link
MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #498.127!
ATTENTION PUBLICISTS: Due to increased
operating expenses, I will no longer be able to continue favorably reviewing your clients’ records for the current sum
of $15 per disc. Therefore, effective immediately, you are now required to enclose a $20 bill in each individual jewel case,
payable in U.S. funds only. Global multinationals: Please inquire about my special bulk discount.
– The Singles (Sudden Death) :: Oops, looks like someone didn’t get their rate increase notice!
But even a million-buck bribe in gold bullion couldn’t get me to say anything good about an alleged anti-racism song
called “Nazi Training Camp.”
Leian – No Going Back (Page)
:: Boy meets girl. Boy plays all the instruments and produces. Girl writes all the lyrics and sings. Together they crank out
enough hellacious guitar rock to make me think that their record company belongs to James Patrick.
Eyes – Tears Of The Valedictorian (Scratch) :: A bad drawing of Howard Hughes on the
front cover. A bad drawing of David Bowie on the back cover. A bad copy of Pere Ubu betwixt.
PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Grainne Ryan – All The Money (self-released) :: Grainne thanks Neil
Young on the back cover for being an inspiration and then transcends him by transforming her multitracked voice into a one-woman
Crosby, Stills & Nash. Somebody find this woman a record company, fast.
OF THE WEEK: Bergraven – Dödsvisioner (Hydra Head) :: These bloodthirsty Swedes
specialize in arch Goth theatrics that are torn from Diamanda Galás’ Saint Of The Pit playbook and then
duly immolated. Yet, despite the Drano-drinkin’, dog-growlin’ vocals, I really like them a lot. Private note to
Bergraven: Thank you for the honor of allowing me to review your new record. I sincerely hope that my words will meet with
your approval. Your cashier’s check for 337.47 kronas is in the mail.
A. Wilford Brimley
– John Carpenter’s The Thing (Universal) :: “They’re Norwegians, Mac.”