JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #834.573.206!

Heath Ledger – The Joker (Warner Bros.) :: Speed up his voice and you have Mel Blanc doing Daffy Duck. Go on, try it. You’ll see.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK – GIRL DIVISION: Von Iva – Our Own Island & Girls On Film (Ruby Tower) :: I gotta confess that I’m still an all day sucker for this soulful hard rocking eletropop trio with their minimal Kraftwerkian retro synthesizers, primitive electronic percussion, and sultry sassy vocals. When multi-positional Jillian Iva isn’t proudly standing on her feet and singing about being a liberated sister, she’s busy getting down to expertly turn grown men into simpering shot wads of incapacitated goo. Then she walks out on them, laughing.

Michael Phelps – The Bong Show (Olympic Gold Medalist) :: Remember how he got caught smoking pot? I still say that Speedo did the right thing to stand by him, as did Phelps’ other sponsors: Smacko, Cocaino and Heroino.

Lux Interior – Brain Cramp (Bad Karma) :: Yeah, but is the world really gonna miss a guy who received paintings by convicted death row serial killer John Wayne Gacy—and then received a portrait of himself from the killer that was so grotesque that he couldn’t hang it on the wall? What a maroon!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK – BOY DIVISION: Burn Halo – The Self-Titled Debut (Rawkhead) :: Now this is how I like my rock ’n’ roll: served piping hot and nasty with a pounding passel of bowel-buffeting bass and drums; relentless rhythm guitars spewing out in split stereo; laser-like leads riding high right in the middle; and prototypical Draino-drinkin’ glass-garglin’ scotch-swillin’ three pack a day vocals that make that guy in the Cult sound like he’s auditioning for the title role in a remake of Disney’s The Incredible Mr. Limp Wrist.

Mel Blanc – Daffy Duck (Warner Bros.) :: Throw down hith voith and you haf Heeth Leather doing Thuh Choker. Go on, try it. Yull thee.

Be theeing you!