JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #722.449.52!

Various Artists – Run The Road (Last Gang) :: This clever compilation contains enough speed rap to give you whiplash. And although it may not be socially responsible to use the sampled sounds of jacked chambers and gun blasts as percussion on “Terror Danjah” by Cock Back, it’s a Kraftwerkian touch that gets my toe a-tappin’. And speaking of cocks...

Goblin Cock – Bagged And Boarded (Absolutely Kosher) :: They have a pierced knob on the front cover. Their singer is named Lord Phallus. Their guitarist is named Bane Ass-Pounder. Then how to explain that they sound like Blue Cheer on Valium? I know: They’re KISS in disguise!

Khanate – Capture And Release (Hydra Head) :: This spry little lease-breaker has but two tracks, the first of which runs 18:13 and consists of nothing but anguished screaming over ponderous power chords. The second is 25:03 of more of the same.

Vagina Dentata Organ – Sex Star (VDO) :: However, Jordi Valls did this kind of thing much better way back in 1986 by taping copulating couples instead.

Rosie Thomas – If Songs Could Be Held (Nettwerk) :: Thought-provoking; heartbreaking; life-affirming; Rosie is the female George Harrison, if you know what I mean.

A Wilhelm Scream – Ruiner (Nitro) :: Decades from now, if they ever grow up, these kids will regret that they ever recorded this album.

Abigail Washburn – Song Of The Traveling Daughter (Nettwerk) :: Banjo-pickin’ country music fused with Chinese melodies. Something new under the sun and then some.

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: The Trews – Den Of Thieves (Epic) :: Wanna know why these hot young snots got to open for those cold shot spots the Stones?

Be seeing you!