JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #655.317!

Tommy Lee Jones & Will Smith – Men In Black (Columbia Pictures 2012) :: That call this going “Back In Time”? Why, even a stooge wouldn’t believe that.

Moe Howard & Larry Fine & Curly Howard – Men In Black (Columbia Pictures 1934) :: Exactly!

Huey Lewis And The News – “Back In Time” (Chrysalis) :: Exactly!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: King Mob – Force 9 (SPV) :: If I had a dime for every superhype front cover promo sticker that’s left me less than underwhelmed, I’d come back and buy this town and give it all, give it all to you. But here’s one superhype front cover promo sticker that’s worth its weight in solid gold easy action:

“KING MOB are: CHRIS SPEDDING – Guitar! GLEN MATLOCK – Bass! MARTIN CHAMBERS – Drums! STEPHEN W PARSONS aka SNIPS – Vocals! SIXTEEN – Guitar!”

Okay, so mebbe the exclamation points are mine, but that don’t matter none, no how, no way ’cause where I come from, we call that a rock ’n’ roll supergroup—and this is one rock ’n’ roll supergroup that’ll have your sorry sluggish flatlinin’ carcass up ’n’ at ’em at the crack of Dawn in no time flat, boy howdy!

Robert Downey Jr. & Chris Evans & Mark Ruffalo & Chris Hemsworth & Scarlett Johansson & Jeremy Remer & Tom Hiddleston – The Avengers (Paramount) :: They’re okay, but they’re no John Steed and Emma Peel—and Samuel L. Jackson’s no David Hasselhoff.

Patrick Macnee & Diana Rigg – The Avengers (ITV) :: Exactly!

David Hasselhoff – Nick Fury: Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC Movie Of The Week) :: Exactly!

FROZEN PLATTERS OF THE WEEK: Thor & Mick Hoffman – Beastwomen From The Center Of The Earth (ThorToen/Antimatter) & Thor – Thor Against The World (Smog Veil) :: He comes from the land of the ice and snow and he’s been rockin’ Asgard down ever since he first appeared on the Canadian permafrost many an eon ago! So bow down and offer up your nubiles in pudenda parting penance because Jon Mikl Thor is back!

Thor’s first testament is a behemoth “rock odyssey” recorded in tandem with ace axemeister Mick Hoffman! Beastwomen From The Center Of The Earth is a truly terrifying tundra tale torn from another time that finds the Rock Warrior trapped in a world he never made! Hear him rail! “When the hammer falls you can hear the dogs howling for blood!” His titanic triumph over the tenacious tendrils of tyranny is nothing less than a senses-shattering sonic shock to the system!

But it’s on Thor Against The World that the Thunder God unleashes his mightiest bolts of molten metal yet down upon a world both unsuspecting and undeserving! Hear him roar! “I am the future! The coming of Thor!” So be it!

By Odin’s beard, verily I doth tell you that the time hath come for a Thor revival! And let it be writ by mighty Mjolnir that there shall be nothing Loki about it!

Be seeing you!