MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #676.376!
– Unstoppable Momentum (Epic) :: If you only buy one Joe Satriani album this year, make sure it’s not
this one. “Unstoppable” my crazy cracker ass: a used wetnap could wipe this 486 DX2 50 MHz era video game music
away. If you want to hear what a real instrumental rock album sounds like, then listen to Satriani’s 1992 benchmark
meisterwack The Extremist.
Chickenfoot – Chickenfoot
& Chickenfoot III (E1) :: But if you’re in a mellow mood, why not sit back and relax to Joe’s
laid back folk outfit in which he’s aided and abetted by the lay down the law firm of Hagar, Anthony & Smith, MFIC.
Organ – Cold Meat (WSNS) :: Come now, you’ve never read an actuarial table
in your life, have you? Why, they’ve got ten volumes on suicide alone. Suicide by race; by color; by occupation; by
sex; by seasons of the year; by time of day. Suicide, how committed: by firearms; by drowning. Suicide by poison, subdivided
by types of poison, such as corrosive; irritant; systemic; gaseous; narcotic; alkaloid; protein; and so forth. Suicide
by leaps, subdivided by leaps from high places; under the wheels of trains; under the wheels of trucks; under the feet of
horses; from steamboats. But of all the cases on record, there’s not one single case of suicide by
listening to a long playing phonograph record!
SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Supermachine
– Supermachine (Small Stone) :: You can always depend on the heaviest and the loudest record
company in the world to perpetually skew you on the right track when it comes to serving up a primo paint-peeling, gasoline-siphoned,
lease-breaking rock ’n’ roll brew that’s guaranteed to do you through—which brings me to Supermachine’s
self-titled sonic sludgefest.
Rabidly reeking with ripe riffs that’ll waft right up your wazoo, you
can bet your bottom daughter that this quim-quivering quartet has got what it takes to snatch the cooze carpet out from under
you with such snorting thud puds as “Flesh Farm” and “Pill Cruise” and the bone-pulverizing “Crutch”
which is about as close to a Brutal Planet outtake as you’re likely to hear without having your ears slawed
Oh, and don’t worry about not being able to find a copy the next time you’re in a record store
’cause it’ll be filed under: Unstoppable Momentum.
Now for that
doofus last line:
Be seeing you!