JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #479.89!

Robert Christgau – Christgau’s Consumer Guide (RIP) :: Somewhere, George Harrison is smiling. A+

The C.R. Avery Band – Chainsmoking Blues (self-released) :: Tom Waits says: “Avery is terrific!” Jeffrey Morgan says: “It’s not every day you hear someone who can sing like Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Lou Reed all at the same time!” B-

Eddie Turner – The Turner Diaries (Northern Blues) :: Memo for Turner: Now that Stephen Stills says you’re a “monster guitar player who reminds me of my good friend Jimi,” how about recording an album that’s as good as Rainbow Bridge instead of one that’s better than War Heroes? C+

The Outline – You Smash It, We’ll Build Around It (Fearless) :: This is what Metal Box would’ve sounded like if John Lydon grew up listening to Genesis and Ultravox instead of Alice Cooper and had actually been able to sing. B+

Hella – Acoustics (5RC) :: The most retarded band in America is back with yet another stoop-abandoned basket case of insanely disjointed music. As long as they’re wanking in the studio, they won’t be walking on the street. C

Prince – 3121 (NPG) :: Miles Davis at his most smack-addled never hallucinated synapse-snappin’ music like this—and Betty Davis at her hellcat horniest never wrote lavacum lyrics like: “You’ll be screaming like a white lady when I count to three.” A-

Derek And The Dominos – Layla And Other Assorted Love Stories (Polydor) :: Quaaludes. A

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Jimmy Sturr – The Greatest Hits Of Polka! (Rounder) :: Growing up behind the Iron Curtain, the only music we heard was polka music. Every night we’d huddle around the oil lamp to keep warm and listen to everyone from Walter Ostanek and Frankie Yankovic to my particular favorite, Jimmy Sturr. Every classic song you’d want to hear is here, from “Beer Barrel Polka” to the BBW national anthem “She’s Too Fat for Me!” Toss in some guest stars like saxer Boots Randolph, doper Willie Nelson, and stutterer Mel Tillis and you’ve got one primo percolating polka party platter! B

Be a-a-alliterating you!