Sunday, January 6, 2013
JEFFREY MORGANíS MEDIA BLACKOUT #349
Sun, January 6, 2013 | link
THE YEAR OF THE JEFFREY MORGAN’S
MEDIA BLACKOUT #349!
Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty
– “Diamonds” (Def Jam) :: Sweetly reminiscent of something Mother used to hate, a lump of coal
has more personality than this wrecked up ’n’ paralyzed exercise in plodding terminal snoozak. Young girl, I call
this a diamond dog.
Robert Emerson “Bob” Clampett
– Coal Black And De Sebben Dwarfs (Warner Bros.) :: Exactly!
Darron “Spammer” Casados – Have You Ever Felt Like Writing Someone You Have
Never Met But Always Wanted To (SPAM Email) :: “Fondly bar discredit insuperable me through
this. Would coterie gratify it, till john dashwood Ive been scanty to disentangle factory, storm, beforehand lisp. Duly,
we must accede for the velvety of 2,400 liters of resort that attributes ourselves the incest stab in the sheep.”
And you thought I overwrote.
SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Daphne Lee Martin – Moxie (Telegraph Recording Co.) :: There ain’t
nothing I like better than ringing in the new year by listening to a brand spanking new album that gives me renewed hope that
all is well in Recordville—and, strangely believe it, this happens to be that album in that it lives up to its ballsy
name and double dares ya to crank it up all the way up to maximum volume with your noodle wedged right between the speakers.
And if you’re of the opinion that I’d be a right fool to say
that this one is already short-listed for my 2013 Top Ten list, then go ahead and slap that dunce cap on my noggin, ’cause
it most certainly is.
Y’see, not since the good old white label advance
test pressing days have I been so blindfold flummoxed by an audio outing. That’s because, devoid of an album cover or
track listing or anything else to guide me along except for a plain white sleeve and textless disc, I’m forced to do
the free-association poetic stutter-step instead—something I ain’t done since I reviewed 801 Live and
So just what the heck is this mutant offspring anywho
and where the heck do I begin to get a greased handle on it? With track one’s melodramatic operetta that fuses Casio
casino music with a spooktown carnival hoedown?
Or mebbe track two’s sultry
Peggy Lee meets the Doors feverish black coffee combo?
Or how’s about
track three that opens with a syncopated “Memo From Moxie” backbeat which then melodically fuses “Down By
The River” with a brace of bubbly Telex synthpoptronics?
Or with the Bennett-cum-Gurdjieff-ish
voice overs of track four?
Track five’s Hitchcockian country hoedown?
Track six’s clandestine Tarantinish tryst?
Track seven’s surreal dub confab?
Track ten’s swanky
vo-de-oh-do night club megaphonics?
And speaking of keeping track, you may have
noticed that I’ve omitted two prime numbers; that’s because they’ve been left vacant for you to
describe. To play along at home, all you need is a copy of Daphne Lee Martin’s versatile new album Moxie and
two cranked up speakers for you to wedge your noodle between; your rejuvenated spirit will thank you for it in the morning—and
Be seeing you!