JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #925.611.252!
Alice Cooper – Lay Down And Die, Goodbye
(Straight) :: If lacquering his liver for years with Budweiser and Canadian Club didn’t kill him, then nothing
will. File under: Too Tough To Die.
Suicide – Frankie Teardrop (Red Star) :: What, they’re still alive? Amateurs!
Elton John – Someone
Saved My Life Tonight (MCA) :: If Bernie hadn’t pulled Reg’s head out of that gas oven, we never would’ve
have had the pleasure of hearing him subsequently shill: “Sassoon says so much”! Anyone got a match?
Frank Gallup – Got
A Match? (Paramount) :: I beg your pardon!
Ozzy Osbourne – Suicide Solution (Epic) :: If the bat-bite rabies didn’t kill
him, then nothing will. File under: Too Tough To Die.
Metallica – Fade To Black (Elektra) :: What, they’re
still alive? Amateurs!
Prince
– Sexual Suicide (NPG) :: File under: Freddie Mercury.
Freddie Mercury – Don’t Try Suicide (Elektra) ::
Ironic, innit?
Paul
McCartney – Suicide (Capitol) :: You’d think that writing a song called “Suicide”
at age fourteen would portend something dire, but daddy says nothing doing. File under: Too Tough To Die.
David Lee Roth – Jump (Warner Bros.)
:: When he sings “Go ahead and jump!” what did you think he was talking about? Hopscotch?
Cheap Trick – Auf
Wiedersehen (Epic) :: Need a push?
Sparks – Here In Heaven (Island) :: Only Ron Mael could write a song about a suicide
pact in which the woman reneges—as sung from the point of view of the man who, having gone first, said goodbye cruel
world: “Now I know why you let me take the lead.”
The Mash – Suicide Is Painless (Columbia) :: Number one with
a bullet!
Grand Funk
Railroad – Born To Die (Capitol) :: What, they’re still alive? Amateurs!
Woody Guthrie – So Long, It’s been
Good To Know Yuh (Elektra) :: Even Okies get the dust bowl blues.
Phil Ochs – Rehearsals For Retirement (A&M) :: Merely
the greatest—and, regrettably, most prophetic—album cover ever.
Trent Reznor – Gave Up (Nothing)
:: When the singer describes his music as being “an ultra fast chunk of death” and then repeatedly wails “I
tried, I gave up” you’d think that he would’ve backed up his brag by now, but no. File under: Too Tough
To Die.
Ramones
– Too Tough To Die (Sire) :: Really?
Iggy & The Stooges – Death Trip (Columbia) :: What, they’re
still alive? Amateurs!
PRESCIENT
PLATTER OF THE WEEK – SAD ONE: Michael Hutchence – Suicide Blonde (Mercury) :: Professional.
PRESCIENT PLATTER OF THE WEEK –
SAD TWO: Kurt Cobain – I Hate Myself And I Want To Die (Geffen) :: To a fault.
Dorothy Parker – Résumé (Enough Rope) :: “Razors pain you; rivers are damp. Acids stain you; and drugs
cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; nooses give. Gas smells awful; you might as well live.”
Be seeing you!