JEFFREY MORGAN'S MEDIA BLACKOUT #781.520.148!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Lisa Lashes - Lisa Lashes (Lashed) :: To the uninitiated listener, most DJ mixes are nothing but inorganic 200 beat per minute ordeals of repetitious headache-inducing noise. But as a veteran disco aficionado and long time dissonance connoisseur who habitually uses Dr. Reed's Metal Machine Music to get rid of a headache, I know the difference between debilitating and therapeutic-which is why I'm qualified to tell you that, when it comes to prescribing the right overdose of medication, nobody fills a better sonic script than this veteran UK practitioner.

Lisa Lashes is the greatest DJ in the world because she knows that the true hardcore addict will settle for nothing less than an unrelenting big beat treatment that's been specifically engineered to make synapses spasm until they rewire themselves into crazy new configurations.

On previous direct injection diagnoses like Hard House Euphoria and Lashed Euphoria, she raised the brutality bar to an irrationally high level of unabated aural aggression. But as bludgeoning as those earlier lease-breakers were, they don't hold a decibel to the massive mainline which is her debut solo disc Lisa Lashes.

Just like the lady herself, this 77-minute marathon is super-stacked with 12 vicious vein melters, all of which are guaranteed to fry your nervous system to a smoldering crisp. Astutely avoiding the beat deficient ballads which have deep-sixed many a mediocre mix, Lisa immediately strips down to the Real O Grind and lets loose with a seriously shredded soundtrack of stereo smack that'll have you crawling across the floor for more-assuming you can still move after being pummeled into a pulp by tracks like "Red Admiral," her penultimate pulse-pounding speed freak rave-up with longtime Tidy Girl cohort Anne Savage.

The new-fangled future of hyper-heavy houserockin' hardcore is still here and her name remains the same so you know who to blame when your brain goes insane from the pleasurable pain.

Lisa Lashes rules, OK?

Be seeing you!