JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #522.151!

The Cinematics – A Strange Education (TVT) :: For torching a Remington typewriter on the front cover, they get an E. But if it’s only a Photoshop fire, then they get an F for fake.

Big Business – Here Come The Waterworks (Hydra Head) :: Led Zeppelin crashes into Black Sabbath. Oh, the inhumanity!

Eno – Here Come The Warm Jets (Island) :: Waterworks, geddit?

Deaf School – “Golden Showers” (Warner Bros.) :: Warm jets, geddit?

The Stranglers – “Golden Brown” (EMI) :: Ewwww, fergeddit.

Saosin – Saosin (Capitol) :: Memo to muggers: These whiny pushovers have VICTIM written all over them.

Wintersleep – Wintersleep (Labwork) :: So do these guyzzzzz.

The Cicadas – The Cicadas (Roble Rot) :: Huey Lewis goes country!

Sara Wendt – Weightless With Love (City Canyons) :: Buddhist rock is the Next Big Thing, so get on board before this llama leaves the Potala. Perfect listening for reading T. Lobsang Rampa or watching Lost Horizon.

Beatnik Beatch – Beatnik Beatch (Noble Rot) :: If you collect album covers with midgets on them, then this reissue’s for you.

D.O.A. – Bloodied But Unbowed (Sudden Death) :: One of their songwriting credits is: “Vancouver Punk Trad.” They wish.

Snatches Of Pink – Love Is Dead (8th House) :: Raucously rawer than the Stones on smack but too pussy to call themselves Pink Snatch.

The Rolling Stones – “Torn and Frayed” (Rolling Stones) :: Ever notice how the singer breaks up and laughs between the words “kick” and “it”?

Walter Carlos – Switched On Bach (Columbia) :: Say, whatever happened to seminal synthesizer pioneer Walter Carlos? I haven’t seen his name on an album in decades.

SIZZLING ROCK GODDESS OF ANY CENTURY: Grace Slick – Period (Grunt) :: “White Rabbit.” “rejoyce.” “Two Heads.” “Lather.” “Bear Melt.” “Hey Fredrick.” “Eskimo Blue Day.” “Mexico.” “Law Man.” She’s the undisputed all-time greatest female singer-songwriter in the entire history of rock ’n’ roll. And although it’s true that she never recorded an album called Period, after waxing her Manhole, she sure should’ve.

Orson Welles – F For Fake (Elmyr de Hory) :: Geddit?

Be seeing you!