JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #687.407.8!

Ciara – Goodies (La Face) :: Lady sings the cooze.

Bury Your Head – Cover Your Tracks (Victory) :: This bruising metal may not be what Mickey Spillane had in mind when he wrote about the white noise that roars in Mike Hammer’s brain every time he empties his nickel-plated .45 into a commie’s guts, but it’s a good start.

Avril Lavigne – Under My Skin (RCA) :: Gosh, I miss Grace Slick.

Grace Slick – Manhole (RCA) :: Ask your mom.

Big Thicket – Sexual Breakfast (SAF) :: I admire Afandi A. Menduno for playing all the instruments on this album, but I’d admire him even more if he knew how to write a good song.

Aqui – Aqui (Ace Fu) :: Tiny Tim joins Devo for the last enjoyable word in cosmic space rock.

Dead To Fall – Villainy & Virtue (Victory) :: I know the genre demands such Exorcist silliness, but I really hate to hear an otherwise excellent metal band being ruined by the laughable guttural raspings of a Drano-drinking “vocalist” who doesn’t know that satan sounds like Lionel “22” Twain.

Groove Armada – The Best Of (Jive) :: Gayer than satan.

Silvertide – Show And Tell (J) :: Attention groupies! Thirsty for the kind of classic cock rock that used to make tinsel tarts like Sable Starr fall gaping to their knees? Well, crawl this way!

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Roxy Saint – The Underground Personality Tapes (Star Blue TV) :: This DVD proves that ribald rocker Roxy is the sleaziest skank walkin’ the plank today. So roll down your window and give this nasty girl a backseat whirl. Once around the block, Jeeves...slowly.

Be seeing you!