JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #761.500.129!

The Stooges – “L.A. Blues” (Elektra) :: Song title of the century!

Chuck Berry – “You Never Can Tell” (Chess) :: Bonus points for actually singing: “They had a teenage weddin’ and the old folks whooshed ’em well.”

Parkas – Put Your Head In The Lion’s Mouth (Savory) :: This exceptional album just might be the long-lost imaginary home-spun sequel to Exile On Main St. that the Rolling Stones were too outta their heads to record.

Datarock – Datarock (Nettwerk) :: These two guys say: “BMX is better than sex!” Jeffrey Morgan says: “Get a second opinion, you closeted pudknockers.”

To The Lions – Baptism Of Fire (Goodfellow) :: The record company claims that this hardcore album is “chock full of sing-along vocals.” That’s a choke, son. Jeffrey Morgan claims that if they slowed down a little they could be Burlington, Ontario’s answer to Mötörhead. Gag, that is.

The Doors – “L.A. Woman” (Elektra) :: Song title of the century!

Gary Moore – Close As You Get (Eagle Rock) :: Gary’s corrosive and downright scabrously filthy guitar sound will tell you more about what real blues are than the actual songs themselves. Get any closer and you’ll need to scrub down in a vat of lye.

David Bowie – “The Jean Genie” (June 16, 1974; 6:30 show) :: Bonus points for actually singing: “New Yooks a goo goo and everything tastes nice.”

SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Doug Cox & Sail Bhatt – Slide To Freedom (Northern Blues) :: This pioneering East Indian-themed album admirably and definitively redefines what a “blues” album is in the same way that George Harrison’s pioneering East Indian-themed Wonderwall Music admirably and definitively redefined what a “rock” album is.

Jimmy Page & Robert Plant – No Quarter (Atlantic) :: Amateurs.

Led Zeppelin – “L.A. Drone” (Atlantic) :: Song title of the century!

Be seeing you!