JEFFREY MORGAN’S MEDIA BLACKOUT #828.567.200!

FIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Thor – Keep The Dogs Away: 30th Anniversary Special Edition 1978-2008 (Scratch) :: Y’know what I hate? I hate reading an awkwardly worded press release that says: “And beyond simply being a great Canadian album, easily Keep The Dogs Away holds it’s [sic] own nicely along the finest efforts of Sweet, Ziggy-era Bowie, Mott the Hoople, Sweeney Todd, T-Rex and the like.” Which is a grievous insult to really great Canadian albums like Neil Rush’s Tonight’s The Fly By Night. Thor’s the only musician on that list whose record I never shoplifted because it’s as aurally anemic now as it was back then. Admittedly, the title track is a pretty good power-pop bopper, but unfortunately, it’s stuck soaking in a static-strewn stew. With so many original unsold vinyl copies lying around, you’d think that someone could’ve found a factory sealed one in mint condition and ripped a new master from it. But no one did, which is why I’m mighty sore.

FIZZLING BOOK OF THE YEAR: Dave Thompson – I Hate New Music: The Classic Rock Manifesto (Backbeat Books) :: Y’know what I hate? I hate reading a wretchedly written press release that says: “If the title alone doesn’t polarize a roomful of music critics than [sic] nothing will.” Take it from me: Anyone who writes dozens of chapter titles like “Fat and forty-plus, or had your Phil of Collins yet?” and thinks that they’re witty is a talentless deballed hack who isn’t even qualified to write a Thor press release. But what I really hate is reading an embarrassing introduction by the once lucid Richard “Gulcher” Meltzer who sadly can’t write anymore and shouldn’t even try to. File under: The Aesthetics Of Schlock.

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